Back to the drawing Board! Paris is near!

Even though my half marathon on Sunday was a personal best, you can always do better. Things always go wrong somewhere along the route and it's good to look back and think about how to change those errors. A lot went wrong but I'm starting to think that's why I did so well. I woke up at 4 am thinking and feeling like crap. I immediately thought I was going to fail and instantly the pressure was off. I had spent the whole previous Saturday freaking out. I was worried it would be another wasted half marathon in the books. Yet at the end I produced and was completely shocked. The weather was cold and windy, the course was tough and packed but in the end I finished strong. Maybe I'm just getting faster or maybe taking away the pressure I was finally able to show up and do my actual best.
First note to self; tough workout the day before is a really stupid idea. It snowed Friday night and in NYC sidewalk shoveling is not a priority. I went out later than I normally do on a Saturday and yet the sidewalks were not shoveled. I ran through a gas station slushy and ended up partly running the streets. Now this was totally taking my life in my hands because I was on a busy street (not sure there's not one in NYC) and people were speeding. Running in the slush is harder than running on a dry sidewalk. My legs were burning that morning and my left knee was screaming "Screw you!" Only after about 3 miles into the half did I even feel over my legs. Really it was after the first big hill that I felt I had a handle on my speed. So my shakeout run for Paris will be a flat 5 miles not in slush, hopefully.
Second problem, my stomach. This one is weird because I definitely didn't eat anything funky. Maybe it was just nerves but I felt queasy the whole time. I was so freaked out that I would have to use the bathroom. I didn't in the end, I actually felt like I was going to vomit. No one and I mean no one wants to toss their cookies on the course. Plus then you have to run with vomit mouth and the taste of your dinner throughout the race. I actually don't know how to change that. Maybe my stomach was just not ready for the race. Maybe rice chex is trying to f&*k with me. Either way not much you can change that problem.
Third I may not change and maybe how I performed, my attitude. I went to Central Park that morning expecting to fail. It was an intimidating race to begin with. Central Park isn't easy, everyone their was not a newbie and I felt like crap. It was long run Sunday, I was in NYC and I had already paid the fee. I wasn't going to back out and I had already talked it up that I was racing. I figured I've failed 2 halfs and a 2 marathons anyway so whats one more bad race. I got my number and saw everyone looking like they had this in the bag. At first I thought "It sucks to suck!" I felt like such the low man on the totem pole. I'm still a newbie and most of the people their probably had hundreds of races under their belt, ran track in school and was performing all their stretches and pre-race jumping around. To this day, I still don't get that stuff but, hey it works for them. I got ready to run and checked my gear and left for the start. Once the National Anthem was sung and we were off I just ran the best I could and just enjoyed the course and the hot D.J. spinning. Once I let it go it was fun again. I figured if I ended up last it's fine because someone has to be.
I don't know what happened but I ended up in the top 900 and 36 in my age group. Maybe all the pressure being off I just ran for me. Maybe I've just finally gotten faster and my training is finally working. Either way I'll take it and roll with it. So to Paris I go in hopes of keeping that 8/min split or faster!

First race of 2015... Is NYC my lucky charm?

My two best times have been in my favorite place. The half marathon was 2 loops around Central Park. If you have ever been around Central Park then you know it's got some crazy hills. Plus looping can always be a disaster! For the first time, despite all of this, I didn't screw up a half. I finally showed up, didn't lose steam and performed. I just wished it had felt that way. 

I felt like shit that morning. My legs were sore from having to run through snow the day before. My stomach was funky. My toes still had lingering blisters from running in dead shoes. I was thinking "well time to bomb another half!" I got myself showered and dressed and got to the train for what I thought was a wasted effort. When I got there I saw exactly what I thought I would. Tons of people looking like expert racers. This was not a race if you wanted to do your first half you would have chosen. There were no charities, medals or frills. People were out for time and blood. 10,000 to be exact and there was a cutoff time. There was not the usual costumes or skirts. Tons of spandex and serious faces.  I picked up my number checked my gear and was pushed out to the start. My stomach still hurt and I was yawning. I paid the entry fee so I wasn't going to chicken out! Don't get me wrong NYRR always puts on a party with plenty of water, Gatorade and fuel. There was a D.J. Spinning and actually a large crowd. 

We went off and I felt slow from the start. I decided to avoid the clocks and just take it as a long run. The whole course just felt up and down. It was definitely challenging. At the end of the loop there was a gigantic hill. The first time I went around I thought "remember that for loop 2!" Because that hill was some heart break hill crap! About the time I came into loop 2 I realized I wasn't doing to bad because there was a ton of people still going around for loop 1. It made me feel a little better but it also came with some issues. Double the people on the course with some going twice as fast. I don't think anyone thought to hard about that. Did I mention we only had a lane blocked off! Yeah that's a problem. I knocked into a ton of fellow racers. Sorry people! After the last big hill I pretty much felt like I suck but it's okay because it's good to suck sometimes. At mile 12 I didn't feel to bad so I pushed up until the finish and saw my time and said "fuck me" right out loud. Not very cute! I had my personal best of 2015! 

I was shocked! I felt like crap, felt I ran like crap and shaved off 35 seconds on my pace per mile average. I was completely stunned. I almost cried again. Then I sucked it up because I have made NYC see the ugly "I just ran" cry in November and it was bad then! Plus this race was a ton of crazy runners, not people having there life changing experience. Crying was not really allowed. Now seeing my stats; 899 out of 10,000! 36 in my age category! That's fucking crazy!! All in all my first good half was a fun experience but I wished I had felt like I was flying not just performed. Is NYC my good luck charm though? We shall see in Paris which is my main focus right now! Less than 3 months!!!

Fred Lebow Half... Half crazy round 3!!

In Central Park thousands will descend on a cold January morning to pay tribute to the founder of the biggest marathon in the world. Also, this idiot will be there at the butt crack of dawn to race after a snowstorm. This is my third attempt at the half and I'm hoping for a personal best. The half marathon is a nice race. It's long enough that you don't feel like you paid too much and not a way to feel like death for a week. It's all a great way to check your training or take a shakeout run before your next full. It's a perfect way to put on a prison number, run hard and get out all the nerves everyone has before a full. I decided on this race because it was real cheap, a NYC qualifier and a way to get a long weekend in my favorite place. They don't give out medals, you get a hat and everyone is out for blood to get that magic time to enter into the NYC marathon. Sounds like the perfect Sunday morning... Maybe!
In my two previous halfs I haven't done well. My first was a complete let down from all aspects. I went into it with a cocky attitude and had my ass served to me on a platter. I had just ran Boston and thought I was going to fly through it. I thought after a full, how hard could a half be? Pretty damn hard is what I should have thought, but no. I went in thinking I would crush it and ended up sick in the med tent. In my defense it was the middle of June, 80 degrees and these idiots didn't have adequate water stops. Plus they claimed it was flat and was anything but! They said there was one hill. What they should have said was there is one giant hill and the rest are moderate. They also took us into the middle of a marsh field with no sidewalks or blocked roads. I thought I could have died out there and no one would know. Luckily I only threw up twice and finished under two hours (barely).
My second half was the Boston Athletic Association half. It's the BAA, why I thought this would be easier, I don't know. The last six miles were all up hill and my legs felt like they were going to fall off. I went in with a totally different attitude and I was better prepared. That race though it was hard was a lot of fun. The BAA always puts on a good show with plenty of water stops and great race swag. Plus everyone was there for a good time. Depending on which marathon I do in the fall, I want to run that one again and it was pretty cheap. I came in under two hours as well but only five minutes early than my previous half.
In NYC I had a personal best on my half time. I'm hoping to at least get below that or stay the same. I have done this exact course on a fun run so I know that it's not that bad. Hopefully lightning will strike twice for me in the Big Apple and I'm hoping to keep this no bathroom break streak. No matter what happens it's a perfect opportunity to test my training and feel a race. It will set the bar for 2015! So here's to Fred.. The man who helped shape this little idiots dumb dreams.. in 3 days!

Smoking... My last true battle!

So I lost 160lbs., I gave up drinking and became a marathon runner. You would think that along the way I would have stopped smoking. You would think the runner's high would have been enough. That my world had changed so much that I would no longer need to suck on the cancer sticks to get through the day. Truth is it never crossed my mind to quit. There has never been a moment when I said to myself "You know what.. I think I should quit this too!" I've changed my whole life and yet the worst habit I have I can't get rid of. There comes a moment when you realize you need to change, just like my weight and my drinking.. I need to quit smoking.
I've been smoking since I was about 12. In my area it was easy to get cigarettes, even at 12. I thought it was cool and was being a dumb rebellious teenager. Truth is I wasn't that addicted during my youth. It helped somewhat ease the pain of a rough teenage depression. Truth is drinking helped a lot more.  Once I hit my twenties is when my smoking took off. I lived in the south for a year and that's when it became about 2 1/2 packs per day. I was teaching dance at a horrible job and everyone smoked. I would go out behind the building and smoke between each class. It became so bad it was hard to teach. That's when smoking became an outlet becasue I realized my dream job was a nightmare.
After that awful experience I decided to go back to school. I got my bachelor's in exercise physiology because I liked science and dance. During school my smoking went up to about 3 packs per day. Pulling all nighters and chain smoking became the norm. My professors would see me outside and just laugh. I guess my grades were good enough for them to overlook the obvious. After I graduated I got the job I currently have now and that helped me cut back. You can only smoke so many times per day. Unfortunately this was the time I gave up dancing due to my inability to deal with the pressure and my weight exploded. I was eating so much and became severely depressed. Even though my smoking had cut back my food and alcohol Jones had become unmanageable. Then I went to the doctors, get rejected blah blah blah....
During my transformation I held on to the cigarettes with the mantra of you can only do so much. Well now I really have no more excuses and surprisingly shortness of breath is never really the problem with my running. When people see me at the finish line they are always surprised to see me smoking and make some sort of funny joke. Today on my walk to work a runner saw me smoking and gave me this awful, judgemental look. first I was thinking that's so rude. Then I realized this guy is right! What the hell is my problem. I can run marathons, lose a ton of weight without surgery and yet I'm still chained to the cigarettes. I don't know if I'm ready to quit just yet but this morning was a wake up call that the time is coming. It scares the shit out of me. How do you quit your best friend? with 4 days until my half, it won't be tomorrow, but maybe soon. Less than 3 months to Paris and I know at least I won't be judged there, but maybe I should.

From crazy to psycho... Ultra marathons

Most people think running a marathon is crazy.. They have never heard of an ultra marathon. These are races that are longer than 26.2. There are 50k, 50 miler and 100 milers out there. Yep, some people consider marathons as sissy races. Having done a few I can say there is nothing sissy about a marathon. But being crazy I've always thought that I would love to try one. Maybe this just means I've truly lost all sanity or maybe I just love a challenge. I haven't cured the mile 22 choke so I know I'm not ready but after running 48 miles this past 3 day weekend I wondered.. What would it take to run an ultra?

So I looked up training plans online and found a ton. Clearly I'm not the only one who is considering death by running. Training plans always seem scary but these take the cake. I love how they say if you have done 1 or 2 marathons you can easily do a 50 miler. Is a 50 mile race ever easy? They look a lot like marathon training plans but instead of mileage for a long run they tell you how many hours you should run... Like 5! I've never ran for 5 hours in my life! That's crazy! But the bragging rights would be epic and I'm sure it would be life changing! They also pretty much tell you to pack a healthy buffet. You pretty much have to eat meals while running. How the hell do you run and eat lunch at the same time? Plus they are all mostly trail runs and that's a little hard to train for in a city.

My conclusion... Maybe it will be my mid life crisis race. Not anytime soon!! All of the pictures are guys in short shorts with beards. I don't want a beard! They have one in Colorado every year. Seems like the place but I've never been so I don't know if it would be fun. Just some random thoughts on a possible epic goal. With less then 3 months to Paris that is my main focus!! 

Oh the joys of training injuries!

This morning I had a lot on my brain and wasn't really paying attention while I was running. I basically tried to run the crap out of myself on a longer run. This led to an unfortunate friend I've gotten to know well since I started training for marathons. I had another internal organ concussion. I seem to be prone to this if I push to hard. 21% of all marathoners experience this and trust me it hurts like a bitch! 

At first I thought maybe I should go to the hospital because it felt like chest pain. It was on my left side and as everyone knows that's not something you should play with. Then I went to the bathroom and found blood and relaxed. I know, TMI and seeing blood made me relax? Yeah, that's kind of messed up but when this is routine you know the only cure is to rest and slow the hell down. Sleep and relax was on the menu today. Lovely start to my 3 day weekend! ( Here in the states it's Martin Luther King day). This got me thinking about all the lovely things us marathon runners do and put up with in terms of injuries. Blisters, runners nipple and total body soreness are just the tip of the ice berg! Who would think knocking your internal bits around was common from prancing around. It sounds like something a football player would get, not a runner! Here I am though, stuck in bed for just pushing it too hard up a hill! 

From losing control of your bodily functions, concussions, torn ligaments and stress fractures we all just want to know when can we get back out there and hit the road. It's pathetic how much we can't be sidelined and how addicted we are. We all know the risks and are willing to suffer the consequences of our actions! I am still going out tomorrow on long run Sunday but will most certainly take it easy! With less than 3 months to Paris and 1 week until my half now is not the time to play it safe! Well I will go slow tomorrow but will cover my mileage! 

Marathon training and dieting.. not so easy!

So you would think running for hours on a daily basis would equal weight balance. Not really! Many people actually experience weight gain when in training. Running all those miles can make you extremely hungry. After a long run people usually spend the day relaxing and eating. Unfortunately the lighter you are the faster. So how does one actually lose weight when in training. That is the question!
I personally lost weight training for my first but I also wasn't really fueling properly until about the last month. Once I started fueling properly and getting the calories I needed my time really picked up. After my first marathon I actually gained a good amount of weight but got it off. I kept it off for NYC and have kept it off since. I still feel like I need to lose about 10 more pounds in general and it just does not want to come off. You want to get enough calories to sustain the run but not gain an ounce. A lot of people experience almost a yo-yo effect. After your long run you have lost then you creep all week until after your long run. This actually happens to me and it totally messes with my mind. It's extremely normal and happens to most. You basically store all your energy for the long run and then it all goes away. So yes you basically are a squirrel!
I personally haven't read anything that gives a definitive answer. Going based on my own knowledge, cutting calories has not worked. I'm already on an extremely healthy diet and monitored by a nutritionist. She thinks I'm fine and I need to stop worrying. Truth is I would love to lose about 30 more pounds but I've been warned that muscle weighs more than fat. She will also probably read this and I will get slammed at my next appointment. Hopefully I can get some of this weight off before Paris and maybe a little off before my half. Just some of my dumb random thoughts on training blues. Less than 3 months to my beautiful adventure and I want to be at my best!