What would a sub 3 hour marathon take?

The title of this post says that maybe I've lost my mind! I've been looking at training programs, trying to up my game and I looked at some programs for a sub 3 hour marathon. I read about a guy who ran his first in 4:05 then ran Chicago in 2:57. He mapped out his program and I thought "I could totally do that program but could I get his results?" I'm not sure if I'm capable of that kind of speed for a whole marathon but I could give it a shot. I mean go big or go home, right?

Most of these programs talk about healthy eating, well that's really not a problem. It's all about the training. Lots of articles claim run less with more intensity. All of the sub 3 hour programs say run more miles. It's really all about building your endurance. To be able to run those splits for 26.2 means you have to keep it up. It means double long runs, longer medium runs and no short runs. Basically running 300+ miles per month. This also means I'm going to be at nike town once a month! It's definitely hard core and could definitely push you to the point of insanity. Truth is this program could be my best plan to get a Boston qualifying time. It also could get me a serious training injury! Is it worth it? Plus all of these articles are posed towards guys. Is it possible for a recreational female to achieve this? It's biological, girls are slower. It's just our bodies. No need for me to feel like it's sexist. Dumb boys always win:(. 

I've got 4 months and the guy I read about did this in that exact time frame. If this program could shave off 16 minutes from my best I would be one of the few to qualify for just about any race I want. You never know what your capable unless you try, trust me I know! I tried double long runs this week and will try again this week. Start 2015 with a nutty program... Why the f$&k not. 104 days to Paris and time for this slow fat girl to get it together!! Maybe a sub 3 hour.. Probably not but maybe under 3:30 would be amazaballs!!

Winter running is harsh on the skin... Makeup!

Running in cold, dry weather can really take a toll on your skin. Even after all the layers come off and you jump in the shower just to get the body heat back, the damage is already done. Between putting on lotion before and after, moisturizing body wash and gentle face cleansers, it's going to get ugly! The elements of the winter attack you and all is dry and cracked. Now you look like the who done it and why! What do you do? Head back to the dreadmill? Hell no! You get makeup!

I love drug store makeup. My goal was to always find good cheap bargains that worked just as well as the expensive brand. NYX brand is amazing. I found it from Ru Paul's drag race and it stays on better than most. Now my complexion would be known as pasty. I've even used eyeshadow to cover up blemishes before because I'm so fair. It's actually kind of sad. Because of the dry conditions I've broken out like a 12 years tween. So now every morning I put on makeup like those girls on YouTube. I wake up as a crater faced monster and go to work a painted lady. Now I always forget to to off my makeup before my run. By the end I look like a watercolor portrait. So now I have to find some makeup to hold up to outdoor running. Nars seems to be the winner for most stage dancers so I might give that a try. MAC doesn't seem to hold up. NYX I'll probably try some more. 

Hopefully I'll find a brand that will hold up to the test and make me look like a 31 year old instead of someone going through puberty! 106 days until Paris and no one wants l to look bad in a city known for it's beauty!

What does the future hold..

It's been a crazy year and it's soon to be done. In about a week 2014 will be gone and 2015 kicks off. Three crazy marathons, two crazy halfs and an epic ride has been my 2014. So what happens in 2015? It starts with a half in my beloved NYC and then on to Paris! While Boston seems like just yesterday, it's onwards and upwards for this runner.

No matter what my time is Paris will be epic, it's Paris! You hit every major landmark you've ever heard of, it's perfect weather according to all accounts and it's not easy. I haven't quite decided if I'm going to go on a tour before hand or just experience it all during the race. It feels like it would be poetic to see it all on the course. Mile 18 is right under the Eiffel Tower! To see it up close in all it's glory during the race would be amazing! 

So it starts with Paris, but what's next? Chicago maybe? Another trip to NYC? Maybe Toronto? So many in the fall to choose from, I will leave it up to the lottery. Of course there are other things in life besides running? I never thought this would be my 2014, so what's going to happen in 2015? Only time will tell but I now know whatever happens will be epic. These past few years have been a total roller coaster from planning to party everyday, to losing 160lbs and then to become a 3x marathoner is kinda crazy now that I write it. Changing my whole life in the span of 3 years prepares you for anything!

2015 will be crazy if the past 3 are any indication. With Paris on deck I know at least April will be a time to remember! More halfs to check my training and another fall marathon will hopefully happen as long as there are no injuries. I'm just hoping it won't be the year I finally shit my pants:(. 109 days until France, Paris France!!! 

Determination... is there a limit?

Every runner has a goal. It may be to finally get through a 5k, run a half, a full or just to get out there everyday. Enjoying the process is important. I can't imagine training and hating it. The amount of running you have to do and then hating every minute of it would be awful. I don't care what anyone says, everyone has a time goal. Everyone has a target they want to hit. The question becomes where is the line of healthy determination and obsession. Most people who run marathons are always looking for that Boston qualifier. I want to get an under 3:30 marathon but many who run never qualify.
Right after NYC I started to think maybe I could get there. Maybe in Paris I would get that magical time that would make me a qualifier. I started to push myself harder and became obsessional with the process. My "determination" that was somewhat healthy before became over the top and I started to suck. I was starting to freak out and I sat down and really thought about what was going wrong. I was so focused that I missed the big picture, I'm going to Paris! Truth is, I was so focused on so many aspects of my life I needed to just relax. I was worried about my weight, boys and running. I totally lost focus on the most important part, this is for fun.
I've regrouped, revamped my training and decided to just go out and have fun. I'm still pushing myself and always finish my mileage. I have increased my miles per week, but if one run is slow it's not a reason to cry. If I'm up two pounds it's going to be okay. I just have to watch what I'm eating. If other things go wrong just sweat it out. Truth is the last couple of weeks I feel stronger and faster. My new mileage goals have been easier. I've also started to focus on the tourist parts of Paris. Looking up all there is to do, where to go and what to see. I run the marathon in the beginning of the trip so plenty of time to rest and relax around the streets of Paris. I'm getting back to the point, forget everything and just run. It got me this far. I'm going to let it take me farther. I'm going to go to Paris run an epic race and then pretend I'm Carrie Bradshaw and live my ultimate dream. To Paris.. with love in 111 days!!

Boston to New York... A year in training!

They say if you want to get healthy then exercise. If you want to change your life become a runner. They weren't kidding. A year ago I found out I would be running my first marathon. This wasn't just any marathon, but the Boston marathon. At that point I had only done a 5k. I put an application in thinking there is no shot in hell I'll get picked. Boy was I wrong. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I had just lost all the weight and had really just started running. I was at a very low point in my life. I was struggling to eat, my hair was virtually non existent and I was extremely depressed and suffering from anorexia. A year later my world couldn't be any different.
When I first started I had no clue what I was doing. How to eat, how many miles to run per day and proper equipment. Honestly, I wasn't even sure I could actually do this. I was listening to all of negative comments being made and taking it all to heart. Everyone had found out and office pool was started with most betting against me (including a teammate, yeah I kicked her ass!). I looked up training programs and gave it a go. I had only four months to prepare and decided to take it seriously. Once I got my shit together and worked on doing it the healthy way, I really started to enjoy the 5 am long runs on Sunday. I started to love running in the snow, ice and wind. My body started to change and every week I could run faster and longer. I knew there was a cut off time of 6:30 and I was determined to make it. I started to live for the run.
There became in a change in me. I wasn't so sad anymore. I had an easier time eating. I was actually happy to get up in the morning. I was actually excited for something. I started to be able to just block out all the negative and focus on the positive. I also started spending money on spandex and sneakers instead of designer clothes. It honestly felt like the sun had finally come out for the first time in years. I joined Facebook and found all my old friends. I was shocked at how many people were routing for me and happy for me. It was humbling to say the least. I was actually smiling and everyone else noticed.
I took my 20 mile run and actually nailed it. For someone who had never done these kinds of distances it was huge shock that I could actually do it. It was crazy to me and such a life changing moment. I, the girl who could barely walk a mile a few years ago ran 20 miles in less than 4 hours. I was in complete shock and cried like a sissy. 3 weeks later I ran the Boston marathon in 4:19. After running less than a year I shocked the shit out of many.. including myself.
After that I realized I loved it and wanted to continue. I also realized there are a ton of marathons and I wanted to run them all. I also learned that you need time to heal. My next marathon in Wakefield MA was a disaster. I had been hit by a car 3 weeks prior, I had terrible stomach issues from undiagnosed Celiac disease and bad sneakers. Even all of these couldn't stop me and I finished 77th. I realized that I must be doing something right because I was still getting faster. I had the best time at that race. I realized runners are really a friendly group of people. I started to notice I was being treated differently. People stopped questioning if I could actually do this to just asking whats the next race. I was no longer the under dog, I was the runner. Then came New York.
Training for New York was intense. I was so focused on running a sub 4 hour marathon. I refused to screw with my diet. I was determined to finally be victorious. I got good shoes, worked on my form and built up my endurance. It all paid off. 3:46, with my parents at the finish line. I was 8,549 out of 50,397 finishers, 341 out of 3,738 in my age group and 1,598 out 20,400 females! I finally proved I was competitor not just a finisher. Plus I ran a couple of half marathons, both under 2 hours and ran everyday like a true crazy person.
My next year kicks off with a half back in NYC and of course, Paris. This has truly been the craziest year of my life. I have met amazing people, learned who my true friends are and proved to the world don't count this little one out. Plus I've eaten more rice Chex than anyone ever should, spit all over Boston and never crapped my pants which is the ultimate victory. The best thing isn't my times or sweet medal collections, it's that I'm finally happy. 113 days until I run my dream... Paris. To the next year.. It's going to be epic!

Growing up... Fashion mistakes with a hint of finding yourself

As a teenager, I was a little weird. Well, I was really weird. I wore some of the most ridiculous outfits and did some pretty outrageous shit. Most of these shenanigans I regret, actually I regret 99% of it. I wanted to be a dancer on Broadway or a Britney Spear's back up dancer. Thank god none of the above happened. I taught dance for 13 years and became an exercise physiologist. During my youth I explored my "creative side", (That's putting it mildly) and in my adulthood I'm exploring my athletic side. I shopped at this store throughout my teenage years and they provided some of the craziest of outfits. When this popped into my email, because I've had the same email since I was about 15, it made me reminiscent of the kind of good old days.
As a kid I was always active even though I was bigger. I took dance at a local school and played various sports. I was always a good dancer but I kind of sucked at the rest. When I got to high school I played Field Hockey. We would have to run about 3 miles. I sucked and my coach let me know. The doctor's claimed I had asthma, what I had was out of shape syndrome. After that failed I became a cheerleader. I wasn't very good at that either but I loved the girls and sometimes that's way more important. I was also president of my class but that story is WAY too embarrassing to talk about. The only comment I'll make on that was what the f*%k was I thinking! I continued dance all through my school years and eventually became a dance teacher. I was actually half decent at this. Trust me that's gone as well.
My taste in clothes has clearly changed. I still love to be a little fashion forward but not over the top crazy. I no longer dye my hair pink or wear shirts with tigers and stars on it. My running clothes are all neon and bright but that's more for survival than fashion. No one wants to be run over, trust me it's happened and it sucks! When I started running I believed it would be like in school, I could maybe suffer through a 5k but I never thought I would be a marathoner. Yet here I am, training for my fourth. If you had told my fifteen year old self that this is who I would be at 31, I would have probably cried and thought that is awful. What I would tell her now is to not try so hard and just be you. I would also tell her to stop smoking and drinking and take off that crazy outfit but that's neither here nor there.
We all grow up, which actually feels amazing. Some people reminisce about the good old days. They miss the times when there parents paid for everything and there were no cares except for what they wore to school. Personally I would never want to be that age again. To have your parents as friends and support and to have your own life is lovely. Going to Paris was a dream as a kid and now will be a reality in 114 days. To find yourself running and live your dreams as you want. I never in a million years believed this is the blog I would have, of course blogs weren't really the thing. I used to be a nut ball dancer now I'm a runner. Nothing wrong with that... 114 days until Paris!!

Getting Specific... 4 months! Marathon de Paris

When I trained for Boston, it was all about the hills. It was my first and all you ever hear about is "Heart Break Hill". So hill training was on the menu. Wakefield was a wild card and I just kept with the same plan for Boston. NYC is all about the bridges so I took my butt all over town up and over bridges. Nothing prepared me for the wind tunnel but I'm not sure anything can:). I've never really trained for a half because I'm always in training for a full. With only 4 months to go before Paris, it's time to make the plan of attack.
Everything I've read about Paris is that it's beautiful. Either it's easy so you enjoy the scenery or it really is so amazing you don't notice that your feet are bleeding. From the elevation chart above it's like any one of the major races, not easy. Everyone swore up and down that New York was flat but trust me it's not. Seeing that it takes on average 6 hours for a beginner/charity runner, I knew not to believe the hype. They clearly made that route in NYC to be challenging. I'm glad I went in believing expect the unexpected because it helped big time. There does seem to be a huge down hill in the middle of Paris but that could be misleading. Plus there is clearly a huge uphill at mile 22 and unfortunately this is where I always seem to choke.
My plan of attack; endurance. I'm starting to consider a training plan that involves a 22 mile run at the end instead of 20. I've seen training plans online in the major publications. This might be my best bet in order to cure the 22 mile funk. I will most likely go out 135 again (Boston) and I will hit heart break hill just to get the feel of fatigue. Hill training seems to be the way to go again for this Parisian adventure. Plus my other goal is to learn how to drink and run at the same time. I really hate the sting of Gatorade up my nose. Longer runs with hills and drinking while running is the game plan! A little DWR on a Sunday morning!
26.2 miles is a long way and anything can happen. The next 3.5 months will be put up or shut up time. Snow, rain wind and pedestrian training is what I have to look forward to. Plus buying the Sea foam dress that Carrie wore when Big told her she's the one. Paris will be hard and hopefully I will get there and just leave it on the field. I can't wait to run this course after reading the reviews. It sounds like a mix of a party and an architectural foot tour. Of course it is, it's f*#king Paris! 115 days!!

Christmas and Food... It's all about the cookies!

Another holiday means another session of food everywhere. Cookies, cake and decedent holiday meals are approaching. There are countless articles on all the of the major running magazine websites about how to not have a hick up in your training. How to avoid temptation and stay on track seems to be the number one topic these days. It's actually kind of sad because the IOC just announced the Olympic schedule and no one cares. I was excited anyway, women's marathon is on Sunday 08/14/2016! The problem becomes if your in the middle of training and you need a certain amount of calories to sustain fitness, who do you get them the healthy way?
Cookies are not a way to fuel a run. You need protein and good carbs to fuel the inner nut ball. I have a very specific training diet that I adhere to everyday. My life is no longer about food but I do get everything I need to train hard. I don't really care about taste, it's not what makes me happy. The problem becomes when you can't eat any of the food that's there, how do you get enough to run the next day? These articles never seem to touch this topic. Maybe that's just a sign that I'm truly crazy.
It's hard to describe the feeling of being scared of food. For me, this whole issue is what holds me back from just being able to enjoy the holiday's. In my everyday life absolutely none of this is a problem. But for a couple of months in the winter I feel like I'm choking with fear for possibly the dumbest reason. Most people worry about everything else but a cookie scares me. What really sucks is no one seems to have the answer. Training smart for Paris is crucial because no one wants to be sick in a country they don't speak the language. Making sure your in peak physical condition is important plus I have a half in a month. This half could get me one step closer to qualifying and I don't want to screw it up. So how do you deal?
I have no clue and I seem to be no closer to the truth than I was last year. Paris means the world to me and to continue in a successful path would be lovely. We all have our own hang ups and I work everyday to fix mine. We all have a monkey on our back, they all just have different names. 120 days until Paris and I can't wait! Hopefully the focus of the race will help me get through the stressful times!

Running Paris... It kinda just hit me!

You go out everyday and hit the pavement. On your run you think about what happened during the day, what you have to do in the evening and what your going to wear tomorrow. You eat your training diet, go to work and focus on the mini dramas also known as life. When people ask about your next race you answer "I'm running Paris." Everyone looks a surprised and then the conversation launches into how cool it is. It's in about 4 months and feels far away, but today while looking at new luggage it finally hit. I'm running Paris.
Maybe because NYC now feels like a distant memory. A goal that's already been achieved. It's an amazing feeling to realize "This is really happening!" I have a number and receive the emails in both French and English. I was even sent an email today to remind me to buy my "I'm training for Marathon de Paris" t-shirt. It's 40$ and by the time it gets to me I will have probably done my 20 miler. The weight of this next race doesn't feel like weight at all. Today I felt butterflies just thinking about the race. To see the sights and to be part of something I never dreamed of is blowing my mind. I even saw the teaser video and started to cry. This girl who used to be an overweight slug is 4 months away from running the Paris marathon. I'm going to run under the Effiel Tower, past Notre Dame and Finish at the Arc de Triumph. Experience all these amazing landmarks for the first time. Plus crazy bragging rights forever doesn't hurt!
So much to focus on; what to pack, what to wear, pace times and passport photos. Hopefully the next 4 months will be injury free. I know that if I feel down I can always remember "Your running Paris". It's officially time to get pumped. It's time to make packing lists. It's time to take every precaution and focus on the big race. I will probably cry a lot more and watch a lot of French films. Time to learn French and find that damn outfit. One gripe, red running shorts and a black and white stripped tank top should not be this hard to find! 121 days and It's coming quick! Paris ready or not here I come!

Time for those 2016 resolutions... Boys

So I could go with the real obvious. Kill it in Paris, return to NYC or get into Chicago, personal best on a half, lose 10lbs, Boston blah blah blah... Truth is for 2016 I want to not make a bad guy mistake and screw with my training. The bad diet started with a bad guy moment then got worse from another.

I lost weight at first due to health reasons, then it all got out of hand due to a boy. I started the whole "let's eat 500 calories a day." because of a guy. My heart was broken and my mind was a mess. All the weight came off but, I was a mess and extremely breakable. That's when I met the next who took it to a whole new level of crazy.

Truth is I wasn't ready for a relationship but he was the first to make me feel pretty after the weight loss. He was off the charts nuts but great looking. I took the plunge because  for the first time I was wanted for my looks not my personality. That sounds awful just writing it! I had just started running but was not in training yet. My goal was to get smaller not become a better runner. I was still eating very little but running more and this is when I started to look really bad. Well let me tell you it got real crazy real quick but I still came back a few times in the hopes he could change. Yeah.. That never happens. 

What I've come to realize is you can't find happiness in what some guy thinks about you. Only you can make yourself feel good about yourself. So for 2016, feel good about myself first and boys come after that. Boys are lovely but I'm going to focus on liking myself again. Plus the obvious.. Paris!! Hopefully Chicago, maybe London?? NYC? Yeah long list:). I may not be pretty or fast but I will keep going and continue doing me, the healthy way. Paris... 122 days!!!

So exactly when can you call yourself a runner?

I've always wondered this. At what point can you call yourself a runner. I've always felt like if you put on sneakers and go out for a run, your a runner. Distance, pace time and number of races shouldn't matter, but if you get up and run, then your a runner. Many do not share this idea, in fact there are maybe way to many iseas on the subject.
I've heard that your not a runner if you haven't ran a full 5k yet. I've even heard the extreme of if you have not done a marathon. Some people never enter a race. They just go out everyday and run. Does this make them less of a runner. Races are expensive and if you get out there and do it, then why aren't you a runner? Why if you only can run a mile does that make you any less than someone who can run 26.2 miles. We all started somewhere and every mile counts. I've seen countless articles where runners believe that all marathons should have a cut off of 6 hours. Personally, who cares how long it takes, you still ran a marathon! I think if it takes that long there is a lot more heart and soul in the journey because that's a long time to be running. I would want to stop for lunch or something. To never give up like that, that's amazing to me.
for 95% of marathon runners this is purely recreational. We do it for the love of the sport, no one is sponsoring us, we actually pay to do this. How does that not make us a runner? We love it so much we train on our own time and pay our hard earned money to do it? Running any race distance is money spent that easily could have gone to other things. So why is that person less than the other? Personally speaking we are all runners if you put the time, effort and heart into day in and day out. It's passion most think is bat shit crazy but we love it and all deserve the title no matter if your fast or slow, long or short distance and every body type. If you ran a mile, you ran circles around everyone on the couch:).
I'm not sure if people would call me a runner, but no matter what, everyday my butt is out on the streets running. Just dreaming of Paris and staying in the zone. Maybe I'm just a girl who runs but that's fine with me because this girl is going to Paris! 123 days until this little nut runs around the most beautiful city in the world. 21118 will be in the blue wave grinning like an idiot and seeing her dream for the first time. Even if I'm not a runner yet I'll run like the wind!

The perfect lie... Social media

When I was heavier, sad and depressed I believed that most people on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter only used these platforms to show how wonderful their life was. It was a place to put your perfect family album out for the world to see. For so long I avoided being on any of the social sites because I was embarrassed of what I had become. I thought "What the hell would I put on there anyway? No kids, no husband and no real life to write about." What I didn't realize was that that's not what these sites are for.
When I decided to go on Facebook, I had already lost all the weight and was well into training and healing from my issues with depression and anorexia. I still felt pretty shameful but do to certain circumstances I gave it a go. Within the first four hours I had old friends from high school and college who were shocked at who I had become. To this day, I don't think what I do or have accomplished is really that amazing. I finally stopped being a gluten and I run. I was just part of the largest marathon ever and Paris has a field size of 50,000 and is completely filled. Clearly I'm not alone (thank god because that would be weird). Hundreds of thousands run marathons every year and if you read one of their pages you will see stories of triumph way better than mine. Honestly they inspire me to be better.
The one thing I've learned from my journey that trying to be perfect or trying to portray that I'm perfect is dumb. Of course I'm not perfect. At one point I weighed 280lbs, clearly there are some imperfections in the noggin! I've had horrible runs, horrible relationships that I have had a hand in the problems, and still go to therapy on top of running everyday. I hope what I come off as is flawed. I hope people see that I'm human and we all have bad days and our lives are not perfect. If I suck I write it. The main reason I post my times is because you can google it. It's up there for the world to see. Right now I'm in a point in my life, I am just trying to have fun, run, travel and finally live for the first time and this is my crazy adventure. You can come along for the ride:). I would hope that others see that it's okay to be flawed but still enjoy the good times. I will be honest, if I shit my pants I will write about it. If I suck it's going to be on here but if I kill it, it will be here too.
If your my friend on Facebook and have kids, I have said "Awe, how cute!" out loud in public. I love seeing my friends get married and their adorable families. I love seeing your dogs, vacations and random quotes. Most people don't put the bad stuff because who really wants to air dirty laundry? Well some do, but I will tell you right now, I don't post anything about anyone but myself. I also don't get personal due to some creepy stuff, but that's neither here nor there. What I've found is that Facebook and the like are places to catch up and for friends and families to see what your up to that maybe far away. So yes, everyday I talk about Paris because I can't f#$king wait! 123 days and it's going to be amazing! Plus all the crazy running fun that comes along the way:).

Holiday parties and training... What to wear, keep on track and be up for long run

Ah yes... The inevitable holiday party season has begun. Dresses, heels and alcohol are all on the menu this time of year.  I avoided these like the plague but, this year for the first time, I've decided to go. I've decided to to go to uncharted waters of holiday party land. So the question is, how do I stay on track with training?

Every girl does not want to look like a frumpy mess. What goes with holiday dresses... Heels! My feet are funky shaped to begin with but add in some running and it's a problem. Good thing it's winter because open toe is a no go. Also calf muscle strain scares me. I'm short and I want to be tall. Picking a cute pair of heels that will not possibly cause injury is a tough task. It's probably going to involve trying on every damn pair in the store. Short or midi dress is also the question? I have bulky runners legs and I'm not quite sure what looks good on my body anymore. Coming in showing off the he-man legs doesn't sound like a great idea. Plus heels make your calf muscles stick out. Not really feeling that look. Trying to be work appropriate but look cute is a tall order.

Food and alcohol are another problem. Showing up fashionably late will stave off the food problem but alcohol is another story. Everyone will be offering drinks and I'll be politely declining the whole night. My hope is everyone is drunk by the time I show up and they won't notice. 

I'm sure everything will be fine. New settings pose anxiety in this little runner. The good news is that my work knows about my journey and none of this will probably be an issue. There is also a personal reason (boys), but that's boring:). Paris is not that far away and an injury now will definitely derail progress so here's hoping I make it. Plus getting dressed up is always fun! 125 days until the ultimate experience of marathon de Paris!! 

Pressure from a personal best... Is that it?

Every race I've had a personal best. Even at Wakefield I ran a sub 6 minute mile. Of course that's the goal but you start to wonder "is that my actual personal best?". Is that the best I'm ever going to do? At the end of the day, if you finish a marathon it's a victory. But the problem becomes the fight to beat your time. All runners go through this. We all want to be faster than the last. So how do you get stronger without losing sight of the real goal, to love every damn minute of it.

This is something I've been struggling with. I want to do better in Paris. 3:46 is great but I want a sub 3:30 marathon. I can blame the wind all day long but in my heart I know it was my endurance. The goal has been to elongate my everyday runs to build up. After about 22 miles I feel like my body is cooked. The mental aspect of distance running kicks in and gets me to the finish. The problem becomes walking the fine line between enjoying and obsessing. Running is for fun. Even though I know I'm pushing myself to a breaking point I'm still loving it. I'm afraid of going to far. Pushing past your comfort zone is the point but going overboard can lead to injury. That would break my heart. Planning my epic Parisian adventure only to have it end painfully would kill me. Maybe this mentality will keep from going into the land of stupid but I'm scared of the threat. I see these numbers above and can hardly believe it's me. Yet I see them and think "you could do better!". 

I know right now it's time to get back on track. Yes it's true, more miles equalls better times but I have to be prudent. Running 20 miles a day leads to a torn hamstring in about 2.5 seconds. Plus you have to sit on inflatable donut and then you have to explain to everyone how you hurt your ass:(. Not cute. Plus holiday parties are coming and crutches and heels don't go! Paris is only a few months away and I need to remember it's all for fun. 

The rainbow connection..... Dreaming the dream of Paris!

So today I read something that made me have a slight exestential moment. I will tell you this, I have been in somewhat of a funk and it slightly woke my ass up. In life we get so hung up on the day to day grind that sometimes we forget to stop and think about all the good things that have come. We forget to think about all that has happened and be in the moment. After reading this (at the butt crack of dawn), I realized what an amazing journey I'm on and it's time to enjoy it. Getting hung up on finals, holiday worries and current mini dramas have somewhat soured the big picture, Marathon de Paris.
Everyone does it. We all fall victim of getting caught up in the what we don't have and what has passed us by. The things we thought we would have by now and what others have that we don't. This morning I realized that a- I wake up WAY to early and b-I'm training for Paris! I got into the Paris marathon and every run from now until April 12th 2015 is for making a dream since I was a kid come true. Getting faster, stronger and chasing the Boston qualifying time has weighed me down instead of just enjoying the run and getting excited for this amazing race. I've done Boston, what feels like several times, and there are so many others to do. Every major city has a marathon and I want to do them all. My major goal is to do all of the world majors by the time I'm 40. I will get back to Boston someday but I'm running Paris!
I will probably get faster not being obsessed with time. Go back out there and remember the point, fun. This little passage also made me realize how lucky I am for everything I have. At this point I did think I would maybe have a family but that's okay too. I have amazing friends and I have so much in my life to be greatful for that being sad or in a running funk should probably get me slapped. The amazing experiences that have come with this journey are priceless and the friends I've made along the way have filled my life with joy. Maybe I don't have the white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a safe but reliable car. What I do have is 1/4 my former body weight, epic race medals, great friends and a ticket to the most beautiful city's marathon.
Training should be fun and full of crazy amazing experiences and I feel like now is the time to enjoy the process. The shit that happens while running is always great for a laugh. The season is always full of nut balls, half marathons and epic tales of idiots knocking into me. This training season will be full of fun because now the clock really starts. I've recovered from my last and time to get ready for the next. I'm going back to what has worked for me in the last three... Just run! Do what I do and enjoy it! Hug my family and remember where I came from and never look back. 127 days to Paris and about a month until my next race. Central Park and I have a rematch! If your wondering about the title, yes I was listening to the rainbow connection while writing this!

Feeling like death.... go for a run!

It's funny, back in the day if I was sick I would lay in bed or on the couch, eat saltines and whine if I had a cold. These days if I have a cold, I go for a run. Most people would think this is extremely stupid but it actually makes you feel better... for like 5 seconds. There is actually evidence to support that as long as it has not escalated to more than a head cold it's actually good to run. Sniffles, sneezing and coughing are totally cool. Plus snot rockets left all over your route is fun for everyone (sorry Boston).
Ever since I started training not much could derail me from a run. Stomach bug, cold or muscle pains have yet to stop me. Like the saying goes "after 5-6 miles you can't feel anything anyway!" Of course, there are times when it's not okay to run like pneumonia or bronchitis but since I've been running I've yet to really get sick. I also get the flu shot but I'm pretty sure that because of the running it has boosted my immune system. There is also a lot of evidence to support this theory as well. As you all know I don't go into scientific detail on my blog because that shit can get boring.
Maybe it's due to the healthy diet and exercise I've yet to get really sick but the amount of fun mucus that has been coming up has definitely had me question my new priorities. I used to think it's gross to spit in public but now when I'm on a run... It's like target practice. I make sure I don't hit anyone and try to get it in the road. Usually it just ends up on me:(. It feels like after about 2 miles my system is just expelling everything. I leak like a faucet. Snot and spit all over me just trucking along, I must look lovely. The things I've become okay with should really start to scare me.
With plenty of time to Paris, I'm definitely watching myself and listening to my body. Plus my half in a month, keeping fit but not taking risks is a must. 132 days until a Parisian adventure but hopefully I'll be all cleared up and snot/mucus free. Au revoir everyone!

Marathon de Paris.. Christmas Wishes!

All the Christmas lights are up in the city. All the stores are screaming "Buy Shit!" Black Friday and Cyber Monday have come and gone. So it's December (when did that happen?), and it's time we all think about what we want for Christmas. The usual is always on the list; world peace, end to hunger, cures for cancer and aids, homes for the homeless and beers for the beer less. Plus a cute handbag! Then I started to think about what I really wanted for Christmas and of course, it all had to do with running my next marathon. So here it is; what I hope for Christmas this year.
First I want want every runner wants, a personal best. That's kind of obvious! Not every marathon you run will be a personal best. A lot can happen in 26.2 miles, but that's what you train months for, so here's hoping! I did extremely well in NYC and that might be my one shining moment. If it is, that's okay. If I'm close to that in Paris, it means I'm on the right track. Which leads into what I want next.
Second, I want to qualify for Boston. Even if I never go back, it would be cool just to know. To be able to qualify in less than a year... Epic! I would need to shave off 12 minutes to do so which is really not a long shot. As long as I take care of myself and keep up the training, it's definitely possible. The other good/bad news is I'm getting older and qualifying times last two years. Really I only need to shave off about 3 minutes and I will qualify for 2017. Here's the thing, why wait! It may be years before I get back to Boston but to know I'm a beast would be awesome.
Third, Better race photos. My Boston ones I looked happy up until I hit the wall. I was also going a lot slower. NYC and my halfs, I looked like crap. I would love that picture where I'm rounding the Eiffel Tower to look amazing. It should be a picture I cherish forever. Unfortunately it's at about mile 20! That usually means your going to look like crap. So hopefully my hair will still look okay and I will remember to smile. Let's be honest, I will be pushing it and I will probably look like I'm constipated, just like NYC:(.
Fourth, perfect outfit and actually a good hairstyle. Boston I had no choice, my halfs I cared less and NYC my shorts turned into panties about mile 6. My hair always looks like a mess at the end. I know, I just ran a marathon but still.. I want to look decent. I want the perfect Parisian outfit and a hairstyle that holds up. Maybe a running Bikini... yeah umm no! Not too much to ask. Maybe even a hair bow. I'm actually way to old for that mess. I want something that says I'm a bad ass runner but I can be cute at the same time. Girly yet don't mess with me.
Fifth is the usual, No injuries, illness or crapping my pants! No bathroom breaks and to feel good at the end. That really is the goal. A successful marathon is one you finish comfortably. To enjoy every minute of it and end thinking "Holy shit! I just ran Paris!" Well, hopefully Santa will bring me these wishes and bring beer to the beer less. 133 days from now it will be on and cracking! Au revoir!

#feelnoshame...

So today is world aids day and the theme is feel no shame. Everyone is supposed to share a fear they have or something they feel shameful of. Because of the stigma surrounding the disease many don't get tested or get treatment. Never be ashamed and get tested. These days it can be treated and it's no longer a death sentence. It's also nothing to be ashamed of. We all make mistakes, we are human and sometimes we don't even know we made a mistake. Also practicing safe sex is important and never feel like you can't. No glove, no love! Well now that we have gotten that out of the way, here is my shameful admission. I'm still scared to eat.

I've ran two world majors, another in the middle of the night with a bum knee and finished 77th. Plus two half marathons and a run streak since April. Yet at thanksgiving I had a full on panic attack over beer and pie! I can run with millions watching, put away the nerves but a pie placed in front of me sends me into fight or flight mode. Having a beer passed to me has me shaking like a leaf. The thought of wanting a piece sent me into a nightmare worse than being told Forever 21 was going out of business! I cried the whole way home in the car over food. My food issues are so embarrassing to me. I always wonder what's my problem? Yet there I was losing my shit over an innocent pie who did nothing wrong to me. I live in such a controlled bubble surrounding my food that it's sad. The thought of not knowing exactly what's in the food makes my face break out. I'm a marathon runner who is scared of food. That's my shame.

We all have skeletons in the closet. We are all human and we should embrace that and never let it get in the way of our health. Get tested if you haven't and never feel alone! For me, my shame is my stumbling block on the road to Paris. It's something that people have made fun of me for and made me ashamed. But today I'm putting it out there and hopefully I can succeed! I have 134 days until I say bonjour to my ultimate goal. Paris!!!