Don't crack under pressure... 1 week

So it's one week until I take NYC and it's 5 boroughs. Tag Huer is one of the sponsers and their tag line is "Don't crack under pressure!" Thanks because I hadn't thought of that. The week before a race is a mix of excitement but also extreme nerves, at least for me! Every thought goes through your head. You've done everything you can. You've trained your butt off, kept down to race weight, made your packing check list and begun the taper. There is honestly nothing left you can do training wise. You have to just know you did the best you could and leave it all on the road. Now, that being said you should just relax, watch your diet and get pumped. Um... That never happens! The Friday before Boston I felt the nerves so bad I projectile vomited at work. I packed and unpacked my bag about 30 times. I cried, used the bathroom a lot and barely answered the phone thinking "what the f$&k did I get myself into!" It was my first and I had no clue what was about to go on. Before Wakefield I thought I would be more confident. Nope! I got injured right before that one and that last week considered pulling out but I decided just to go for it and I'm really glad I did. 

The nerves have come back to haunt me. My running game is stronger than ever. I feel better physically. Mentally not so much. It's another world major, huge field size and this time I'm going off in a faster wave. By the third you would think I would be more confident but I'm a mess. Thoughts like, "what was I thinking", "what did I get myself into", "are you bat shit crazy", and "I can't shit my pants!" These thoughts rotate through my mind about every two hours. On my training runs I just keep envisioning running through that amazing city and just enjoying the moment. It's the only time I feel relaxed. The run itself seems so great compared to my two previous. Actually running through the city, bands playing, crazy crowds and the beautiful city I love seems much better than Ashland or running around a lake in the middle of the night. I'm preparing myself to expect the unexpected. New York is flat but you never know. 

Hopefully this week I won't vomit or poop my pants. Maybe I will get to the start area and just enjoy the run. Oh who am I kidding? I'm going to get no sleep, shake like a leaf and be in the fetal position all week. "Run fat girl run!" Will be playing on repeat in my head and I'll probably cry a lot! So here's to losing my shit! NYC I'm coming, whether I lose it or not!