Will I get there...

Every runner new, old, young, distance and sprinter asks themselves this question. As a new distance runner I find myself asking this question a lot. Everyday and on every run I worry will I make my mileage. Sometimes it's a short run, sometimes it's long but the fear while you suit up always seems to be there. I've often wondered if it's good or bad. It seems like a good thing to never be over confident. If you aren't a little afraid then what will push you? When your going out for your 20 mile run what will drive you to not stop? Every runner experiences fatigue and at some point you want to give in but a voice inside you tells you no. My inner voice tells me "run fat girl run!" But I'm sure everyone has some little saying their brain tells them. At a certain point you really do become delirious and really aren't quite sure what's going on but before that you have to mentally push yourself to keep going. I know that some runners are very confident and know they will make it. I've always wondered what that would feel like. Just running along thinking "I'm the shit!" Maybe this is better because they probably don't have to visit the lovely line of port-a-potty and risk getting scabies or crabs! Maybe after 50 marathons I will feel this way. Yeah... Probably not. Tomorrow is my 20 miler and I know I will spend the day freaking out. I'm running the Boston track for the 3rd time. I know it well, confident I won't get lost but, that voice is there telling me "you might not make it!" Hopefully it will push me. They say 3rd times a charm. I'm hoping they are right! Less than a month to NYC!