20 mile run round up...

So the week before this long run I had been psyching myself out. I was worried about not making it, falling or pooping my pants. In all of my long runs, I've had to walk to finish, use the bathroom and mentally push through it. I woke up at 5 am on Sunday telling myself, "Maybe you already had your glory." I was thinking that maybe Boston was my one moment in time. After my last marathon, blowing my knee out at mile 16, I was worried that maybe I was done. Long running career, right? Truth be told I was comparing myself to others in a really stupid way and had tricked myself into thinking I couldn't perform. Maybe that was a good tactic or maybe my body was like "oh hell to the no! We are not done!"
First what I will say is City Sports, a store devoted to sports, puts on a great long run. The participants are usually friendly, they provide water, Gatorade and Gu (eww!), plus they map it out for you. I got there, changed and started shaking. Everyone was running different fall marathons from the Marine Corp to Dublin. A few NYC's but not as many as I thought. I was chatting with a few and started to relax. We took a group picture and headed out on the Boston course. I just told myself to pace it, it's a training run! I started out slow and fell quickly into the groove. What felt like 2 minutes I was at 5 miles, the first water stop. I was like "Wait, what, already?" Then what felt like 4 minutes later I was at mile 10. I was confused and I was not tired at all. I was thinking I must be going slow. Then I realized I had only been passed by a few runners, there was a ton of us. So I just kept going. I met up with a couple of runners and ran with them. We talked about the marathons we had done and our dream races. All of a sudden we were at mile 15. I was like wait a minute, this can't be right. I was still feeling great, just moving along. We talked to the water volunteer while we sipped and headed back out. We started talking again and one of them said "Hey we're at mile 17." I was thinking "Holy shit!" I felt completely fine. This can't be right? But then I saw the sign for the last town and realized it was. Then what felt like a minute later, we were done! I felt a little tired but nothing like I had on previous long runs. Then I found out I had a personal best. I was blown away. I never thought in a million years I would ever feel that good.
I didn't cry this time, well maybe a little. I was completely coherent the rest of the day. Went out to dinner with my family and feel pretty good today. Maybe my body has finally gotten used to the insanity. Maybe my training is finally working. Maybe I finally have just completely lost it. I'm not going to argue! I'll take it. I feel ready for NYC and learned a valuable lesson, never compare yourself to others. We all do it but don't get consumed by it. I learned this is my race and my experiences. The worst part is I wasn't comparing myself to other marathoners. It's time for the taper and for the BAA half this Sunday for my last long run.