Every runner in training has experienced a moment when they question themselves and their goal. It's hard to be strong 24/7. We all experience moments of weakness. We are human but it's what you do with that block that can make or break you. From elites to newbies sometimes the road gets tough.
Not going to lie, I've hit the wall mentally. The relentless fight I think may have finally taken it's toll. From running hundreds of miles, constant laundry, fatigue and being forced to evaluate who I am recently has worn this nut ball down. I feel like the person I am has never changed but just the goals. I'm not even close to perfect but maybe just a little stronger.
Sometimes you wonder why do I keep going? What's it all for in the end? Is this really all worth it? The answer is of course it's worth it! To be able to experience what so few get to is amazing. Being part of such amazing events are truly life changing. In order to be part of these events, you have to train. I know at the end of the day, I will slap on the spandex, push my big butt out the door and be in the moment within seconds. The whole time dreaming of the champs élysées and the Eiffel Tower!
It's happened to me in every training season. The fear of weight gain, injury, crapping my pants and not being able to finish. Everyday is a new day to run and to let go of the notion that quitters win. I just have to get on my game face and remember why I started in the first place. Plus to see Paris, f#%king awesome!! Time to stop the bull shit and get it together because winter comes and goes, spring time comes and Kenyans arrive in France! Plus a runner from Boston who hopefully will be ready to take on the world!
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