When you question your training... train harder!

Why doesn't my hair look like that when I'm running? Oh that's right, I'm not trying to take a picture:). For about 3 1/2 months I've been on a new training program. More miles, more speed and more hills. I wasn't quite sure if it was working. I hadn't seen the results I thought I would. I figured I would be faster by now. I started to become paranoid and over analyzing every run. Could I have gone faster? Did I push myself? Was there enough hills? This was clearly not healthy! Once I looked at from a sane perspective, I had achieved more.
 I shaved 32 seconds off my split time from NYC to my NYC half in 2 months. That may not seem like a lot but it actually is. Plus feeling like ass that morning makes me question was that really my best? I can tell you the answer is no. Doing speed workouts on that awful treadmill an 8 minute split felt pretty easy. Let me put that into perspective. I wasn't pushing it. Most of the time I was doing a 7:30 split time. I also know from my training runs I have been clocking under 8 so I'm right where I wanted to be. Now, I'm not jinxing jack shit. I know I could show up to Paris and perform like crap. Hence my half.
The goal now, being so close but still in the time frame to enhance my performance, to push harder. Faster speed running and faster pace runs. Maybe amp up the mileage (who am I kidding, of course I will!). I'm also going to look at my diet and see what I can do for better performance. I want to know I did everything I possibly could in the amount of time I had for the best results. I would also like to avoid the usual... Shiting my pants, nipple bleeds, chafing in any area, black toe and I would love for my hair to like the picture throughout the race.
Paris is only 51 days away and it's close but far. If I screw up there will be other races. This race is for me though. After dreaming of this city forever, I want to go in and compete strong. I want this to be the adventure of a lifetime and if I have to spend a few nights on the bathroom floor because I can't move... then qualify for Boston (instead get into London), then it's totally worth it! Plus find a French guy with a great fashion sense, find the perfect job and never come back. Yeah, I have big dreams:)! Au revoir!