Paris Fashion Week... Oui!!

This lovely outfit is brought to you by Lanvin (picture courtesy of Vogue Paris). Lanvin so far is the only show I've been impressed with. Balmain looked like a color block nightmare. Chanel channeled Little House on the Prairie. The rest was pretty much the same, black dresses with leather some where on it. There wasn't any different hair or make up. It looked exactly like fall/winter depression. Lot's of Kendall Jenner and Cara Delivigne pictures. Plus Lot's of shots of Kim Kardashian's blond hair, I don't love it but I don't hate it.
The main reason to look was to see what styles are in and what I saw was sleek lines and fun colors. Now I didn't get that from the actual runway shots but on the profiles of the street style. That's what people are actually wearing. Lot's of fun blazers, colorful accessories and really cute shoes. Basically my dream came true. These people know how to dress. I understand it's pictures of people around fashion week, but in Paris, mom jeans and Ugg slippers are kinda frowned upon. A country after my own heart! I may be into colorful spandex on a run but I make sure I get dressed otherwise. I think this helps with self-esteem.
Getting dressed everyday and enjoying fashion is self expression. I think fashion is art. For me, the importance of getting up and getting ready makes you feel ready for the day. Plus, when you spend most of your time either in running clothes or dance clothes it's nice to put on a skirt or a dress. I may not put on Chanel haute couture everyday but I get dressed cute on a budget. It's almost fun to get inspired from the pictures and shows then recreate the look for less. Spring is all about flowers and pastels. Finally getting away from the brown, black and grey winter.
It's that time to pick the perfect marathon! Honestly I've considered going black and hot pink. They have really cute pink compression socks at Nike right now and those are essential. Sometimes you have to plan an outfit around one piece. It's not the color scheme I was going to go with but, got to do what you got to do! While it's important to look cute, it's also important to perform! 36 DAYS!!! I almost cannot fathom this. Paris this little fashionista is ready for you!

Playing the marathon lottery.. and in life

Today the lottery for the 2015 NYC marathon opens. At noon today thousands will pay their $11 dollar processing fee in hopes of being one of the 50,000+. Later, probably next month, Chicago and Marine Corp will open their lotteries. Getting into any one of these fall marathons is exciting. There are only a few (well, thousands) of bibs up for grabs. Personally, I'm putting my name in all three. I would love to do NYC again, but Chicago is first on my list. Marine Corp scares me because of the weather, it's hot, but I want to do it. I also want to do the Air Force marathon and figure if I'm unlucky then I'll go run with the Air force. Service men... actually that could be way more fun.
The chances of getting in via lottery is pretty slim for NYC but pretty good for the others. Hopefully my chances will be good for Chicago. Spring marathons like London also have a lottery entry. Which is good because you can only qualify if your a UK resident:(. I personally feel like that's complete crap. All of the American races let international residents in through qualifying times. What gives Princess Kate? Playing the lottery for marathons is a lot like life. You never know what's going to happen but if you put your name in it can change you forever. You never know whats going to happen unless you put yourself out there. Playing the marathon lottery made me think of the parallels to dating and regular life. Taking a risk on something big and not being afraid to fail. You can go and choke or go and succeed, but you will never know unless you try. I honestly had no clue when I started all this that I could even finish a marathon but clearly I can. This year I want to take more risks and now I'm not afraid to fail. I have choked in races and you know what happens... Nothing! You get a crappy time but you went out and if you give it everything then it's better then nothing at all. I've failed horribly in the love department. This year I've decided that it's okay to fail, you never know if you don't try. I also have tried a new hair color and changed up my wardrobe a little. I'm getting older but I can still have fun. I really have no choice because Abercrombie Kids fits me the best:(.
So today at noon I will be one of the thousands trying to get the magic NYC ticket. I will also try my hand at Chicago and a few others. I will be one of many just hoping and waiting until March/April to see what city I'm prancing around next. Not only that but I will take some more risks and see where life takes me. Watch me get into all of them and have to make a decision. Oh shit... That will not be fun. Maybe mister magic lottery will make the decision for me. Until then my eye is on my half in 10 days back in NYC and less than 3 months to Paris!!

Running and dating... Why is this such a problem!

So you meet a guy/girl and you go on a date. They don't run, they have no clue that a marathon is 26.2 miles and want to go out to eat. They at first think it's so cool that you run and maybe ask some stupid questions. They may even tell you about that 5k they ran when they were 13. You then talk about everything else until it becomes an issue. You have to leave early because you have to get up and run at 5am and you can't get drunk or eat out because your on a training diet. They look at you like "What the F$%k?" This is the scenario a lot when you date a non runner. It feels like they just can't understand.
Many other marathoners date each other. That's how many happily married runners met in the first place. When your single though it becomes tricky territory. You lead a very different life if you train hard. You don't stay out late so going to a club or a bar is out. If your on a training diet or close to a race your not going to eat out. Most runners barely drink, especially if they are close to a race. So the other person looks at you like you may be the most boring person in the world. It is hard to understand how we roll. We are focused on a task that involves running for hours for fun. It actually sounds kinda stupid writing it out. If you love something though, it's worth it. What many don't understand is that we are devoted to our running but we can be devoted to you too. We won't get drunk and embarrass you, we will be in shape and you know we aren't cheating, we are sleeping.
It's strange, I totally get it. We run, eat, sleep and repeat. At the end of the day though, if we are that passionate and devoted to something, think about how devoted we can be to others. Plus the runners high, we are always happy:). This is not my current situation but I've been through this and seen my friends go through this and it's sad. We aren't boring, we run 26.2 miles for fun. Just think of the stamina... Maybe if you give us a chance you might find yourself running too. Or you might find yourself thinking of new posters that say funny things to support your significant other. So give a runner a chance. I'm going to the most romantic city in only 99 days and it's going to be crazy. Marathon de Paris and maybe some love...

#feelnoshame...

So today is world aids day and the theme is feel no shame. Everyone is supposed to share a fear they have or something they feel shameful of. Because of the stigma surrounding the disease many don't get tested or get treatment. Never be ashamed and get tested. These days it can be treated and it's no longer a death sentence. It's also nothing to be ashamed of. We all make mistakes, we are human and sometimes we don't even know we made a mistake. Also practicing safe sex is important and never feel like you can't. No glove, no love! Well now that we have gotten that out of the way, here is my shameful admission. I'm still scared to eat.

I've ran two world majors, another in the middle of the night with a bum knee and finished 77th. Plus two half marathons and a run streak since April. Yet at thanksgiving I had a full on panic attack over beer and pie! I can run with millions watching, put away the nerves but a pie placed in front of me sends me into fight or flight mode. Having a beer passed to me has me shaking like a leaf. The thought of wanting a piece sent me into a nightmare worse than being told Forever 21 was going out of business! I cried the whole way home in the car over food. My food issues are so embarrassing to me. I always wonder what's my problem? Yet there I was losing my shit over an innocent pie who did nothing wrong to me. I live in such a controlled bubble surrounding my food that it's sad. The thought of not knowing exactly what's in the food makes my face break out. I'm a marathon runner who is scared of food. That's my shame.

We all have skeletons in the closet. We are all human and we should embrace that and never let it get in the way of our health. Get tested if you haven't and never feel alone! For me, my shame is my stumbling block on the road to Paris. It's something that people have made fun of me for and made me ashamed. But today I'm putting it out there and hopefully I can succeed! I have 134 days until I say bonjour to my ultimate goal. Paris!!!

The Gym... No way, not anymore!

Lot's of people love the gym. For some it's like the Cheer's bar "Where everybody knows your name". Lot's of people love cross training and lifting weights. The gym has so many benefits and is a great thing. Plus you can wear cute outfits all year round there! For me personally, I hate the gym. I suck at lifting weights, I get self-concious still and I hate the treadmill with a passion. I started out at the gym and found my love for running there but... No way in hell am I going back. Here is why..
After losing a eighty pounds it was time to get active again. Dancing, cheerleading and walking had always been my exercise. I played sports throughout my teen years and danced up until I was done college. So when it was time to start moving again I signed up for the gym. I went with the judgement free zone, Planet Fitness. I developed a program straight from the book. I walked on the treadmill for an hour and designed a lift program with core exercises (abdominal fun). It took 2 hours a day five days a week. It was the most boring thing I had ever done but it worked for a while. I saw results in my fitness. I was becoming more toned. I was still dieting so the weight was coming off anyway. I hated every damn minute of it. I was so persistent in my goals and that was the only reason I kept with it. The walking got faster, and I put myself on a hill program. I was still lifting and doing core exercises. One night when I got home I sat down and thought about running and devised the plan that started it all. I would run on the piece of shit treadmill for the last five minutes each time and slowly work my way up.
Not only did I hate my life while I was at the gym, but I felt extremely self concious even though it was called the judgement free zone. I was still overweight and looked horrible in my gym clothes. I wanted to workout and have no one see me. That's kind of hard at a public gym! So I would go to the gym really early or really late so the amount of people was less. I was so embarrassed with my self that it actually hindered my progress. I'm not sure why it never occured to me to walk/run outside and purchase some dumbbells. I think everyone just thinks they need to go to the gym when they really don't. It has become ingrained in society that that's the way to get fit. I could have done everything I did without going to the gym but there I was hating every minute of it crying in my car on the way home.
The first five minutes of running felt worse than any marathon I've ever participated in. I hacked, wheezed and felt like I was going to throw up. I was running about a 13 minute mile. I knew it was going to suck until I was trained and just kept moving. Every gym trip I just told myself it would get easier. I ran with music and tried to not pay attention to anyone else. After about 2 months I was able to run walk about 20 minutes, that's when I ventured outside. I was still going to the gym but also incorporating outdoors. It was about 2.5 miles of flat suburbia. I ran in the middle of nowhere so know one could see. I was also living in the middle of nowhere so that was pretty easy. In the fall I moved back to Cambridge and got rid of my car. I was still a member at Planet Fitness and went everyday after work. On the weekends I tried running around the city in the extremely early hours of the morning. The gym in the city was much more crowded. There was always a line for the treadmill and abdominal machines. I was still to chicken to run in less than perfect weather so I would still hit the treadmill. I could run for 30 minutes without stopping at this point and getting faster. I still felt self concious and became aware of the fact that people do actually watch what your doing.
By Christmas the weight was gone and I recieved my number for Boston. This past winter was one of the most brutal winters and I had told myself I couldn't run in a blizzard (so not true!). This is when my gym time came to an end.
I was kicked off the treadmill for being on too long. Nowhere did it say a time limit and I had to get in a run for Boston. At that moment I cancled and have never looked back. I wanted to be a runner and run outside. There is no weather in Boston you cannot run in. I refuse to go back. I've learned to run in any condition and love it. The gym gave me a horrible complex and I'm a firm believer in if you don't love you won't stick with it! The gym is not for everyone and that's ok! It's also ok to love it. My hat is off to anyone who does. For me, the fresh air and city sights are the best way to run! that's why I love city marathons, you get to see the city while you run. Plus being outside I personally feel less self concious. Maybe I just love it too damn much. So if your wondering do I lift? Nope! I just run everyday. That's all I do. Nothing fancy just me, sneakers, spandex, some woodland city creatures and sidewalks. Paris city sights, smells and sounds will be my next adventure and will be epic!! Here I come Paris!!

Wrapped up like a Burrito... Winter running

It's almost like a game. How many pairs of spandex, shirts, coats, scarfs, hats and gloves can you wear and still achieve your split time? At first, I was so scared to run in the winter. I've come to really enjoy it and looking forward to early morning snow runs on the weekend. It's so quiet and peaceful out. Plus it's absolutely beautiful with the city covered in white. Until the plows come and make it brown of course. Unfortunately there is a lot of precautions runner's have to take to not get hypothermia, eat pavement when ice is covering the side walks and stay visible because there is about 2 hours of daytime.
First off, clothing. My laundry bill is insane during the winter trainning season. The amount of layers you wear is ridiculus. Of course you have all the dry fit, stay warm technology that really only gives you peace of mind. You still sweat, lose all your body heat and shiver like a leaf after you run. I always make sure to get a hot coffee on the way home after a long run. As soon as I get home, I jump in the shower after pulling off 17 layers of wet spandex. Give that a try when your hands are numb. I'm sure it looks crazy. My best advice, lot's of layers and be ready to feel cold.
Now the whole running on ice deal sucks. I ate so much pavement trainning for Boston last year it was crazy. I know my Paris trainning will involve more now that I'm faster. It's always slick as snot on a door knob in one section of my long run. I'm sure I'll be doing the runner's prance in that area again. Imagine someone looking like they might have just crapped their pants. It's that elegant. Plus I don't care what fancy sneakers you have, they are not snow shoes! Your are going to slip. I will say this, Nike's will keep your feet dry. I can't handle the treadmill so no matter the weather my ass is hitting the pavement.
The one problem is hypothermia, for me anyway. My hands and feet turn white and go numb. For me this is the only downside to winter running. I have to run my hands under hot water pretty much imediately. It sucks because this is my favorite running season. I guess you just have to take the good with the bad.
Time to get reflective warm clothes for another winter training season. Paris is at the beggining of April. Time to run in the snow, ice and sub zero temps. I'm not going to lie I'm excited! I'm getting ready for Paris. A little cold weather is not ging to slow this nut bag down. I'm ready to run the fashion capitol! 5 months full of snow, ice and crazy amazing experiences are upon me. Plus I'm running a half marathon in January in Central Park. It's going to be epic!

Bonjour, Madame Marathon de Paris!

All the layers of sweats thrown in Brooklyn have been trashed. Central Park has been cleaned and ready for the next big attraction. The New York Road Runners have already laid out the guidelines for entry into the 2015 marathon. I've celebrated, worn my medal at home in bed and looked at my awful race photo's (yeah.. won't be buying them!). Now it's time to get ready for my first international marathon, Marathon de Paris!
It's not an easy one. It's another Kenyan filled, giant field size marathon with all the sponsors, expo's and app's to track runners on. Truthfully, this may be the scariest thing I've ever done. I'll be running 26.2 miles in a country where I don't speak the language, have no idea where I'm going and will be with a tour group. Anything can happen but to run Paris is just blowing my mind. To run arguably the most beautiful city in the world is just insane. I've never even dreamed of this because it's a dream I never even thought possible. When I was looking into spring marathons knowing I did not want to take another trip to Hopkington this year, I found Paris. I knew the minute I read about it that I had to do it. Boston, then New York and then Paris was the perfect first marathon year. This training season will come with a lot of excitement and a lot to be nervous about.
My first plan of attack is to review NYC and fix what went wrong. Clearly the insane wind was a problem. I can't do anything to fix that so I've chalked it up to anything can happen. Races are any weather unless it's so dangerous like a tornado. There are no tornado's in Paris so no matter what, April 12th here I come. Second is my endurance. I hit the "wall" in Boston, in NYC I was tired but could keep going. In Paris I know I will get tired (it's a marathon), but I want to be able to keep pace until the end. Most likely some longer runs in between and possible double run days. I also know getting stronger just takes time and I have 5 months so hopefully if I work hard I will get stronger. Third, it's time for winter. I've seen Christmas stuff out already (can I enjoy Thanksgiving first!). That means snow, ice and sub zero temperature running. I've done this before and I know what to expect. I can tell you first hand that my laundry bill is about to quadruple! Four layers of shirts, two layers of pants, 3 pairs of socks and hats, scarfs and mittens every damn day!
I've learned to expect the unexpected. To anticipate that it will be harder than you thought and to just pace it and hope for the best. These giant races are about time and possible qualification but they are also about experiencing what so little do. It's about running in something bigger than you. It's about seeing the world and being present in the moment.You only live once, that one chance goes quick and is too valuable to not see everything. I will never win a marathon. That's not the point but if you can achieve little goals while doing something you have always dreamed of it's a bonus.
For the first time I will be able to fit into the clothes. I will probably be a size large in France but it's all good! I will be able to look like every other french girl walking down the beautiful city streets in fashion land. Well maybe a little more manly than most of the French women but I won't be judged for smoking. Flowers will be blooming, there will be a warmth in the air and nerves all in my stomach! Spring time in Paris will be put up or shut up time! I need to find a black and white stripped top and red bottoms! The outfit has to be on point for the fashion capital! Maybe I'll get a running bikini... No chance in hell! 5 months to the craziest thing I've ever done. Another moment to run and join the elites again the city of lights!

Marathon Hangover... The week after

So you train for months, eat a crazy specific diet and mentally drain yourself. The day comes, you run your heart out and finish victorious. Then it's over. Many of us know our next race. If we are truly crazy we know every next race for the next ten years. Still though, what happens when it's over. After a huge race, like NYC, what happens now is the question?
New York was a dream that is now over. I've wanted it for a year and I exceeded my goals. I've basked in the glory and have begun to prepare for Paris. Paris is a goal I never thought could be an option. It's almost hard to fathom this race. I also have a half in Central Park in January and my name is currently in the lottery for the official half marathon in NYC. I also know that I'm going to play the lottery for both New York and Chicago for the fall (maybe even Berlin). London for next spring would be crazy but, a possibility or maybe (if I qualify) another round in Boston. Tokyo is a far off dream that I will wait a little longer for considering it's random placement in the season (only Tokyo!).
So you go home and see that medal hanging on the wall, you remember running down 5th avenue and the moment you crossed that finish line. Even though Paris is right around the corner, a part of you feels the down of the moment gone. You worked so hard, came out ahead and now it's over. For me this lasts about a second because I always have a race right around the corner. A lot of people almost feel depressed afterwards. I know if I did not have a specific goal I would probably feel the same way. They always say running can be an adiction. I feel the high of the race is the actual addicting part. Working hard and finishing can be a high that is comprable to to many substances and common adictions. Trust me this is much healthier than drugs or alcohol but it can take a toll on you.
For me the way to deal has been to focus on the new task at hand. In Paris, I want to PR. I want to at least know I can qualify for Boston even if I never go back. To get stronger and faster is every runners goal. I was so close to qualifing in NYC that I can taste it. Hopefully less wind in Paris and I can make that dream a reality. Like I always say though, "I just want to finish and not shit my pants!"
For me, New York was proof that I am a runner. Like I have said before, I wanted to finally distance myself from my past and finally be put in the category of runner. I feel like i've finally achieved that goal and will be judged on my speed instead of my former self. It was really a dream come true and now it's time to focus on Paris and shaving 15 minutes off my time. Paris is another huge race and a chance on a global stage to prove once again I'm a runner. A chance to no longer be judged as a weight loss story but as a person who runs. A chance to feel victorius as a marathoner instead of a former overweight drunk. Those goals keep me from having the "what happens now?" feelings.

Run this Town Tonight! NYC round up!

New York is where dreams can come true, and mine did! I have dreamed of a sub 4 hour marathon, done! Being in the New York Times, didn't have to marry a rich guy! Did not want to use the bathroom, no scabies for me! The most beautiful course ever, all five boroughs, life changing! Honestly the most amazing day ever.
First I will say, NYC has this on the lock down. I arrived at the Public Library at 7 am and no wait to get on the bus. We took a nice ride through the city in a plush, warm bus. No school busses (take note BAA). It was actually really calming, until we hit Verrazano Bridge. That is when you realize "Holy shit, I'm here!" They drop you off into athlete's village thinking that bridge is crazy! Athlete's village for NYC kinda seemed like Disney World. You have your own village for your color with plenty of food and coffee. There was huge jumbo screens letting you know when to go in every language. When I saw this I realized just how big of a deal this was. People were there from all over the world to compete and my nerves sky rocketed! At that moment, I got called to my corral.
When I got to my corral you could see the lead up to the bridge and once again NYC did not disapoint! An actual gun went off and they started playing Frank Sinatra. Really! It was the coolest thing ever. I felt kinda stupid being mesmerized. That lasted about two seconds because I got pushed into the waiting line. Took one last trip to the bathroom and got in line. They walked us up to the bridge and then, BOOM. I was off and Franky was playing. I started to cry a little then but that all stopped when I hit the wind tunnel!
Verrezano bridge felt like I was being sucked into a black hole! Normally this is the most beautiful sight, but the whole time I was thinking "get me off this damn bridge now!" We were all knocking into each other and I just found a clearing and booked it. I knew the bridge was two miles long and decided to get out of there and then start pacing. Best idea I ever had. Once I was off the bridge we arrived in Brooklyn and it was crazy. So many people were there with "Welcome to Brooklyn" signs. When you enter the next borough, there is always a ton of signs that say welcome. Honestly the best part was that no matter where you were, there was a crowd. It really was a party. Through Brooklyn I realized two things; one, NYC is not flat and easy and two, I've really learned how to get in a groove and stay there. I just kept going and if I felt good I would speed up a little but to never sprint. I started to see the clocks and realized I was on track. I just tried to keep a level head and keep it steady. In brooklyn I passed the 4:15 and 4:00 pace groups, I just told myself keep in front of them and you will be fine.
Once we were in queens, I was shocked that I still felt really good. I just kept going and when I saw my time for the half, I realized I had already PR. I was thinking this can't be right. It was though and maybe that was what I needed to keep going. Queensborough bridge was the best view because You see Mannahttan and realize your almost there. I sprinted off that bridge, but still noticed people stopping and taking selfies! Seriously, this is a timed event dumb assess! Well, it's their time and they can do what they want with it I guess.
Mannhattan was crazy! the last ten miles were wall to wall people. Up first street, and over to the Bronx. The Bronx was the most disapointing because you only spent about a second there. It was like "Don't blink you will miss it!" Plus the church chior was amazing! Then, you see the 5th avenue bridge and realize your on the last leg.
This was the moment I realized the wind. You are so tired and the wind was trying to knock me over. I refused to give up! I ran down 5th avenue and into Central Park. It was perfect and wall to wall people. The cool thing I did not realize is for about a half a mile the spit you back out onto 5th avenue and you run down mid town. It was so cool and gave me that burst of energy to finsih strong.
Once back in Central Park it was the finish and I knew I was close to my goal so I booked it. I didn't notice my dad cheering I just say the finish line and sprinted. 3:46:12!!! I cried so hard when I finished because the volunteer told me it was ok to cry. AKA you look like crap but you ran a marathon so it's ok!
Paris is 5 months away and time to take this show on the global stage. Today starts a new training season full of snow, ice and craziness! I'll always rememeber Boston as the first and NYC as the best!

Welcome to New York...

Growing up in a small town you dream of more. You dream of culture, art and music. You dream of being someone else. In NYC most of the people there are from a small town. Everyone has big dreams of becoming something. They have dreams of making their dreams come true. If you head to NYC from a small town it's usually because small town life was not for you. Everyday people arrive in the big apple hoping to live out their dreams. Unfortunately not everyone makes it. Sometimes it's not about a huge dream, it's just about seeing what else is out there.
What does this have to do with running? For me, everything! About a year ago I sat at my desk and contemplated making my dream a reality. Of course, the obvious marathon to look at was in the city of dreams. Not only is it the place to make it, but it's the place thats so big your almost anonymous. If you fail, your one of many and not very noticable. If you dream big, fail big. Go big or go home. Lot's of other awesome sayings can be inserted here:). When I looked into the NYC marathon, clearly it was about to take place and you could no longer sign up. I actually learned a lot that day about marathon entry. I saw that I needed to run a smaller marathon first, submit a time into the lottery and hope for the best. I decided to give myself two years, run a 5k, 10k and a half first. I would start to work up slowly and descend on the city of dreams.
Yeah... So... About two months later I got the number for Boston, then I ran Wakefield and about a year later it's time for NYC. That whole waiting two years thing didn't exactly pan out but why wait? Now that there is only three days until I fullfill my original goal, I was thinking about what led me to NYC in the first place.
I grew up in a small town in New Hampshire, known for a face in a mountain that no longer exists, live free or dying (No seat belt required), and the Pamela Smart case (Hot for teacher). My father traveled for work and we heard and saw all about what the rest of the world had to offer. At the time, I was a bit different (that's putting it REALLY mildly) and wanted to be with people more like myself. Thank god I got over that phase (Damn I looked like shit back then! I see pictures and alsways wonder what I was thinking!)After my school years I wanted to be a dancer and dreamed of the big city. NYC was one of the many stops along that crazy path. Ultimately I ended up back in Boston. I became a lot heavier once I realized I did not want to be a dance teacher forever and lost the weight and blah blah blah (You know the rest). New York has always been the place where I believed my dreams would pan out and I have a feeling this was the actual dream I was thinking of.
On the eve of my third marathon I realized that Dover NH taught me to dream, Boston trained me to achieve my dream and maybe NYC is the place to live my dream. To get a personal best would be amazing but to finish and to grab that metal will be life changing. Did I mention the metal was made by Tiffany's yet? Yeah probably about 100 times:). To the dream my friends! 3 days. Like Taylor Swift says "Welcome to NY, it's been waiting for you!"

Dreams can come true... In 5 days!

This is the beginning of the NYC marathon. You go over the Verrazano bridge that connects Staten Island to Brooklyn. If you look up images for the marathon this is the first thing that pops up. They claim this is the largest hill in the race. It's about 2 miles long and not very steep. The image of tens of thousands of runners coming over a normally packed highway is almost poetic. Many who have ran NYC say the view is just stunning and luckily your not delirious yet so you can enjoy it. You look over your personal playground for the day. I'm sure it's the moment when the weight of the race will hit me. Also it could be on 5th ave. when I'm almost done and probably half with it.
I've mentioned before that this has been a huge dream and it's almost here. Many young girls from small towns across the U.S. and all over the world dream of New York. A chance to get lost among the sea of people and live your dreams in a world of fashion, art and music. You dream of the chance to experience culture and many different ways of life. You pretend your Carrie from Sex and the City, strutting around in your Manholo's dreaming of finding your Mr. Big. You sit in your small town knowing there is more to life than what you have.
For me, this is all very true and I'm one of millions. They say 3/4's of New York is from a small town. Now, a little older and a little (not much) wiser I come back to have the ultimate experience. To run all 5 boroughs, to enjoy the bands, the art and probably not much fashion. To be one of the thousands who will be from all over the world. To run amongst the sea of neon to claim the Tiffany's medal in Central Park.
Training has taken a toll. This time around I had to overcome some mental road blocks. I'm faster than I've ever been and pushed through many obstacles to make this dream a reality. From trying to eat enough to blocking out the negative comments, I've trained harder than ever. Maybe all of it pushed me to the point of insanity or maybe my body finally got on the same page as my goals. I feel strong and ready. 26.2 miles is a long way to go and anything can happen. I've learned to expect the unexpected and never go in thinking it's going to be a breeze. I've learned to pace myself and remember it's a long journey. Balls to the wall at the start will get you walking at mile 23. To breath even and only be concerned with my time. Don't over hydrate and remove layers as soon as I feel hot. I've worked on my form and picked better shoes based on my needs. I've changed up the diet and made it well rounded and catered to my exact needs. Food has become fuel and every meal meets my needs. I've worked harder than ever but what I've really done is trained from the heart. I lost 160lbs. to run and I wanted to give it my all. I've given 150% and now it's time to enjoy the outcome.
To live this dream is indescribable. The emotional weight of the situation is a combination of nerves and excitement. To be able to see the end and the rainbow is almost to much to bare. In such a short time to change so much can takes it toll. You constantly ask yourself "Who am I now?" I still don't have the answer and I'm still incredibly awkward but I feel like I like the direction I'm headed in. Someday I may get injured and not be able to keep going. Maybe that's the reason I just keep pushing smart and enjoying the ride while I still can.
NYC her I come! I'm getting my New York on and I can feel the awesome. 5 days from now I will be living my ultimate dream.
http://www.afmarathon.kintera.org/tapgod

 

They love you because they have no choice.... Family!

This is my family with me right after Boston. Yeah we are a good looking group minus that weirdo with the medal:). Christmas eve 2013 my world changed big time. I received my number for Boston. Like most families, we have a family party on 12/24. That night I told everyone I got the number and it was the first time I realized it was a big deal. I had not told any family members that I had even applied. When they found out it was the topic that night. The thing I learned real quick was a great support system from your family can help you go the extra mile.
My family has been there every step of the way. I know when things have got me down I can always lean on them for support. For the first few months of my training I was receiving a lot of flack from others. My family reminded me that I could do this and not to give up. They were so excited for me and many showed up on Patriot's day to cheer me on. They also took that lovely shot of my victory smoke. To have them there that day was amazing. They have had my back for so long and still do.
Whether it's your significant other, best friend or family support is a need. Training can chew you up and spit you out! It mentally pushes you to places you might not want to visit. When I ran the really messed up half in northern mass. my parents took care of me when I was dehydrated, sick and slightly delirious. That's the power of family!
Through crazy injuries, running hundreds of miles and some crazy diet you always need a back up. NYC is so close I can feel it! My parents are going to be there at the finish line cheering me on again. The nerves, the excitement and the outfit changes are here! 5 boroughs here I come!

Back to Nike... and what!

Yesterday's post was kind of heavy but today is just a shoe review. My thoughts and feelings lately about the way I look have been getting me down, but like every girl, a new pair of shoes helps! I was running in Saucony all weather Gortex ride 6. They were supposed to be for rain, snow, tornado's and alien invasions. So the first rain storm that I ran in, Bam, 10 pound sneakers. All weather huh! Yeah... My Nike's were dry as a bone during blizzards! So that being said it was time to consider my options considering how close I am to NYC. I knew what I had to do, head to Nike Town.
Basically all distant runners will tell you Nike sucks. They are built for show not for the long haul. They say they are designed to look pretty but don't hold up for the long ride to 26.2. When I bought my first pair of Nike's I was not looking to run a marathon at that point. I was looking to run for at least five minutes on the deadmill. I bought the most expensive pair they sell which is the Air Max. Massive cushion, a ton of support and they fell great. Problem is these shoes are heavy. Despite this problem, I trained and ran in them in Boston. I had a great first time and all things considered, my feet were really not that bad. I had blisters and lost some toe nails, but the same thing happend after my last marathon in Saucony. Truth is, my Saucony's didn't last as long as my Nike's did.
I knew I needed a lighter shoe than the Air Max's (and less expensive), so I looked up the details on my Saucony's and looked for the comparable shoe in Nike. This led me to the Zoom Elite 7. Same 8mm drop from heel to toe, stability and neutral ride and they are actually lighter. The other great thing about Nike is you don't have to break them in. They have memory foam and once you put your foot in, they are good to go. I ran my last longish run this past Sunday in them and I flew (for me) down my usual route! It actually felt good to be in Nike again. Bonus is these shoes are less expensive than the Saucony's. Take that Nike haters! Every run that I've had since in these shoes have been amazing.
Basically all of the elites wear Nike's, that says something. One thing it says is huge endorsements:). It also says they actually can hold up to the challenge. Hopefully it will hold up for me in NYC. Plus what girl doesn't love a pink and neon green sneaker! Girly and fast, that should really be their name. These shoes are not for people who just want a sneaker to walk around in. They would probably feel uncomfortable due to the drop. Also, Nike has a weird construction and unless you have a narrow heel it could fit funky and give you blisters. All that being said, I can't wait to kill it in the pink in 11 days!! I'm going to run these little pink monsters all over that city! NYC here I come!

A constant reminder....

Sometimes when I run I feel like I'm constantly running away from my former self. After two years of finally getting my act together, people still bring it up. I know that I should be proud of what I've accomplished but sometimes I wish it never happened. Not the transformation part, the part where I looked, acted and presented myself as a hot mess! People who did not know me before my change just know me as the marathon runner. They know me as a health nut who runs like a fool and is kind of goofy. They know me as the girl who is always wearing skirts or dresses with flats, obsessed with coffee and at about 3 pm everyday starts to get antsy because it's time to run. Sometimes I never tell them about the weight loss. I just let them think this has always been me. Unfortunately as soon as they ask how long I've been running, the truth comes out.
People who did know me before and are my friends understand it's a touchy subject. I mean, who really wants to reminisce about the time when they were obese, drinking heavily and depressed. All the good times! Like every night eating a whole dominos thin crust pizza with bacon and drinking 4 vodka cranberry's and watching extremely dumb shows alone. Eating a few donuts for breakfast, mac and cheese for lunch and falling asleep by 2pm. Eating to numb the pain of depression and anxiety, drinking so much you throw up weekly just to keep going. Being known as the life of the party but always inside knowing you hate crowds. Always feeling so self conscious and aware of what you look like that you put on a mask of make up every morning to hide the pain. All of these things are not what most people want to remember.
When people bring it up and make light hearted jokes about it I always try to counter with a joke. Inside though, it hurts. Sometimes you just want to say "yes, I was a mess! So funny!" I know it dosen't come from a bad place but it still stings. Sometime's I feel like more people who knew me are more impressed that I don't drink alcohol than the fact that I run marathons and actually run them. I know for most people they can't picture me without a drink in my hand but, it still hurts. It feels like no matter what I accomplish I'll always be the fat drunk in so many eye's.
The beautiful thing about running is not only the feeling but the amazing community of people it has. When I ran my most recent 20 miler I ran with two people and we just talked running and had a great time. It made me feel free. I never brought up the fact I lost weight or how long I've been running. We just talked about past races, equipment money woe's and past injuries. We also had a few laughs at the ugly course and the perfect weather we had. It felt so good to be defined by my speed not my journey. I was just a runner like them.
The NYC marathon has a field size of over 50,000 runners. Many amongst this group will have amazing stories. Cancer survivors, extreme weight loss stories and many other heroic tales. There will also be the life long runner who just loves New York (Who dosen't love New York)! I will be one among many hoping to get a personal best... and a Tiffany's medal dosen't hurt either! In 12 days I will run the 26.2 mile journey again hoping it will distance myself from my past a little more. Maybe someday I can truly be proud and not ashamed of my journey but embrace the struggle. 12 days!

Haters gonna hate.... Or just laugh at you:(

 

It's the less than two week push before NYC. Feeling the nerves! This is about the time when you start worrying about getting to the start on time, what to pack in my bag for after, what am I going to wear, do I have enough body glide and can I actually do this? Unfortunately this is also the time when people feel the need to either get excited with you or make fun of you. I'm still not quite sure why running a marathon illicit so much hate, but it does. Lots of comments like "Why would you do this again", "That's just dumb" or "I would never do that" seem to be appropriate things to say. My thought always is "Did I ask you your personal thoughts on a marathon?" I can tell you I never have.
For some strange reason I've found people only have two reactions to a person changing and achieving their dreams. They either get really excited for you and become personal cheerleaders or they try to bring you down. I'm just speaking about my own experiences. Throughout this weight loss and marathon training I've reconnected with my family and old friends, made stronger bonds with some of my good friends and made new friends. I've also lost friends and have been ridiculed more in the last year then in my entire life. I was not picked on in school, I made good friends in college and never had problems with the girls at work. Once I started running and became healthy it was on like donkey kong. The funny thing is that once I started training for my first marathon, I got on the healthy diet track. Yet this is the time when everyone started laughing behind my back and calling me anorexic. My family and close friends were extremely supportive and knew I was running and that's why I was slim. Many believed I would not finish and were shocked when I did in a good time. After Boston I had even more friends jump ship.
Marathon running had always been a silent dream and I honestly never expected to be able to do one. Now in the eve of my third, in better shape then ever, I still get comments and many still don't talk to me. The friends I have now are the best a girl can ask for. I have the greatest family and they are my biggest fans. Maybe this was a great way to weed out the negative influences in my life. It hurt, I cried a lot in the beginning. Sometimes I still cry. When I do get down about the comments and the silent treatments I use it as fuel on my training runs and during races. For instance, I was told I looked like a man now by an ex. When I was on a bad run training run for my second marathon I thought to myself "Well if you look like a man, run like a man!" Pushed through to 18 miles silently laughing knowing he can't run even a mile.
As people we should all celebrate each others achievements. It doesn't have to be health or running. It could be school, opening up a business and finding the perfect cat sweater. We should all just be happy for one another and if you can't be happy for someone else because of your own life, fix it. We should all stop judging what other people have and focus on ourselves. I needed a change, so I changed. I'm still a work in progress and have far to go but anything is possible. Nobody is perfect but you put in what you get out. Well there is that rant for the week. It's time to freak out! Time to get excited!! LESS THAN 2 WEEKS TO NYC!!!

An American Runner in Paris!

Every girly girl dreams of Paris! The fashion, the culture, the shoes and the art. Paris has always been my dream city... Now I'm going to make it a reality! Marathon de Paris is one of the big spring marathons along side of London and none other than Boston. Last spring I ran the big bad Boston. I've ran my home city In a few weeks I'll run my favorite city. In less than one years time I will run my dream city. I figured it would be the best way to finish out a life changing year.
The marathon de Paris is unlike any other course. You run by all the landmarks and end at the Arc de Triumph. Perfect place to end! The course is a little tougher than NYC, but no where near the grueling Boston. Many avid marathon runners have claimed this was their favorite just do to the scenery. The city shuts down on that spring afternoon and is an affair not to be missed. Plus a week in Paris will be the perfect end to a year of intense training! Of course, the Kenyans will be there, 50,000 field size and the normal nerves of a race. It's another chance to try to become a qualifier and another medal for the wall. It's still a marathon and of course I will want to get the best time. To personal best in Paris would be the ultimate goal. This also means winter training. Snow running, here I come. Plus another 20 mile run on the Boston course.
Walking around like Carrie Bradshaw in my Manolo's will most likely be out but an adorable dress with cute flats will suffice. To finally see the sights and take this city by storm is a dream come true and a gift to myself for all the hard work I've put in for health. Spring time in Paris is going to be beautiful and an experience I will cherish for a lifetime. Plus visiting Dior, Christian Louboutin and Chanel... Priceless!! When I signed up and saw my bib, got a Little teary eyed. Right now though the task at hand is NYC!! Time to takeover the city and all 5 boroughs!

Running like a Kenyan... Why I don't own a TomTom!

This amazing lady is Rita Jeptoo, two time winner of the Boston Marathon and just this past weekend, the winner of the Chicago Marathon. Not only is she a beautiful lady with a great personality, she also has won a ton of other races as well. The question always remains, how do they do it? When ever you see who won these major marathons they always seem to be from Africa somewhere. So what is there strategy? Of course, as anyone knows genetics plays a huge part. Oxegyn uptake is crucial for successful long distance running.This is how much oxygen you can get to your muscles. The other question is how do they train? What are these awesome people doing that's different from the rest. The answer may surprise you!
Many of these elites talk about how they had to run to school or work. No cars, just feet. Their respective school or workplace was ten miles away so they ran to and from each day. If it takes you less than hour to run ten miles, then that's less than most people's morning commute. Clearly they are not stopping for coffee on the way or sitting in the parking lot for a smoke. They did not have coaches or fancy watches. They just had to get from point A to point B. Some people spend all this money on special equipment, expensive watches and iphone apps. These spectacular individuals just ran!
So what does this have to do with me. Not much! When I was learning about training of course I read up on them. What they did for training and how they tracked themselves. Honestly I wasn't shocked, it just made me fall in love with them even more. I'm never going to be as fast as them. I know that! I respect their struggle and I'm always so happy to see them win. I decided to take one thing from them though, I don't time my every minute. If I go straight from work I don't even carry my phone with me. Only when I'm running from my house or on a long run I bring it with me. I know what time I started, how long I'm going and what time I finished. This helps me just enjoy the run. I can tell when I'm going slow, when I'm going fast and when I'm going too fast. I listen to my breathing and know when to push it or when to slow the hell down!
I own lots of fun running clothes (I'm a girl, what can I say), running sneakers and a ton of hair accessories but I don't have a watch or app that tells me everytime I hit a kilometer. Running for me is my time in the day to just relax and that's why I love it. Sure I train to go faster, I look for hills and map out each run. I live in the moment. I just run and enjoy it. Now these lovely folks were just trying to get to work but we can all learn a lesson from them, but down the technology and enjoy. When your whole run is a constant track of your time, how do you enjoy it? For most of us this is not our proffession but our hobby. As the expression goes "If it's not fun, why do it?" I couldn't agree more! Three weeks to NYC and could not be more excited!!! Central Park here I come!

Only 1/2 crazy... My shakeout half in Boston

So I like to run a half before my marathons. It's a time to put on the prison number, feel a race, check my training and who dosen't love a free banana! The Boston athletic association is the group that runs the famous Boston marathon. It's famous for being one of the toughest marathons in the world. So of course, their half marathon had to be equally nuts! Perfect training for the NYC marathon. It gives the feeling that it can't be worse than this!! Gotta love Boston!

I was scared. I was injured two weeks before my last marathon and made the decision not to race until this half. Train hard and rehab was the goal. Last weekend I ran my twenty mile training run so a half was the perfect shakeout. I felt great on my training run so I figured I would be okay. Then I started to worry again that I was a one trick pony. What if I bust a knee? What if I have stomach issues? Race day is always scary but after 3 months.. You freak. I got up at 5 am and just decided to race and leave it all on the field. The BAA always puts on a great show. It's not a party. It always feels like a prestigious event. It was also a beautiful course, but a hill ridden "I'm going to kick your ass and make you feel like death!" Why I didn't think that a Boston approved race wasn't going to serve me my ass on a platter, I don't know! The last 5 miles were all uphill and I was so happy to see the finish.

That being said I had a personal best and came in way above what I thought would happen. I was also upset that we were at a zoo and not a damn furry creature in sight! I was promised the zoo!! I expect to see a fuzzy friend!! I guess you can't have it all:(. Kept an 8:30 split which is great and a great new running shirt. Plus the bragging rights of another great time on a Boston course. Although, anyone who finishes a Boston race gets bragging rights!!! Congrats to all who ran and now it's really time to get pumped for NYC!!! 

Running and the body... We are all different!

Everyone has insecurities. We all are our own worst critics. Personally, I'm definitely my own worst judge. Running can prove to you what the body is capable of in extreme conditions. During a marathon you realize what you are able to endure physically. With running your body changes and transforms into a machine capable of making a 26.2 mile journey many people can't even fathom. So at the end of the day why can't we all just see the beauty in that versus what we look like in the mirror?
Don't get me wrong, I'm the worst at this! Up until my 20 mile run this past weekend, I was feeling down about my body. I felt like I had a pooch and was looking terrible. I was comparing myself to others and their perfect abs, toned legs and arms and perfect behinds. Running has turned my body into a shape it's never been. My legs are very muscular and my arms are as well. I went and got my flu shot at work and the nurse asked my to stop flexing my arm muscle. I was thinking "I don't have any arm muscles, I don't lift!" My sweater puppies are completely gone. I'm not quite sure where they went but my guess is they left to find someone who bounces up and down less. Let's not even start on the back end! Because I lost so much weight rapidly I also have hanging skin on my stomach. I always joke that I have a four pack because the rest is covered by the sagging left over from Domino's. At this point, I will never look like Kim Kardashian or probably ever look good in skinny jeans without a baggy sweater to go over it.
The question I always ask myself when I'm feeling down is "Why do I care?" My goal at a certain point was to get down to a single digit size. Once I got there the whole crazy running journey started to take off. Many people at that point commented that I must be done losing weight. If I had not started running distances that I could only cover by running multiple towns then I would have probably stopped there. I caught the running disease though and dropped a significant amount of weight. I became the most degrading size ever, 0. I don't even get a number, yet I still felt large. Let's put some perspective on this though, I'm only 5'3". Yes I'm short. I'm perfectly within my BMI and really just have a tiny frame. for some reason though I look in the mirror and instead of seeing a bad ass runner, I see all the imperfections.
Like my girl Beyonce says "Pretty Hurts." For me, when I get down I go on a long run and remember what this imperfect body is capable of. Running that 20 mile run on Sunday showed me that maybe I have hanging skin, but I also have 2 marathon medals on my wall. One being the notorious Boston Marathon. Knowing that in a few short weeks I will take on the 5 boroughs and rack another medal, another jacket and another accomplishment in less than a year can soothe even the worst feeling of imperfection. Nobody is perfect and we should all just embrace who we are. I know way easier said than done but it's a beautiful thought like world peace or Jimmy Choo gold sandals. I know someday I will learn to love this body, or I will get so old I won't give a shit. Until then, I will run on and remember how cool it is to stop after 20 miles and think "Wholly f#%king shit!" Then get a coffee and smile to myself:). Less than 25 days until NYC!

The Taper... Wait, you want me to slow down?

So you spend months running miles, eating like a horse and have become the most anit-social person in the world. You get up at 5 am on a Sunday, run for hours and come home, eat, sleep and repeat. When your not running, your thinking about running. Then you take your last long run and your supposed to scale back. This is known as the taper, everyone runner's worst nightmare. It seems like it would be a dream; run less and eat like crazy. Trust me it's comparable to a dentist visit. It's a total mind f*%k! For most runners it's the most relaxing part of your day is the run. Now they tell you to scale back the miles. Runners are also aware of their weight and how that affects their speed, now still eat but run less? How does that not affect your brain. I would like to keep somewhat of a girly figure!  Runner's have all sorts of hang ups and the taper brings out the worst in an otherwise relaxed group. Take away our runner's high and we are a little (or a lot) cranky.
I'm always on edge during the taper. I'm a lot bit cranky and a little bit emotional. It's tough because A- I'm running less which is scary and you worry about your fitness and B- It means the race is around the corner. So not only is your stress relief slowly taken away but your getting nervous for the race itself. I've always dealt with the nerves of running with well, running. During the taper you can start to catch up on things like homework, laundry, clean every surface in your apartment, see a movie (or 12), reconnect with friends and other fun things you have lost in your training. You can also sit and worry, watch every piece of food that enters your mouth and freak out at every Facebook update from your upcoming race! Personally during the taper I slowly go into insanity. After your 20, your next is a half marathon (13.1). Many of us try to find a race to get our mind off the impending doom of a full. I'm running the Boston Athletic Association 1/2 this Sunday. A paper prison number in the early hours is always a way to get your mind off the pre-marathon pooch.
After your half the next is 8 miles. I run over 8 miles daily. Some people don't taper. It may drive me crazy but, it's a proven science even used by the elites. It honestly makes sense when your using your sane brain. Your body needs time to recover after running the 20 to make it all the way to 26.2! Even though my 20 felt amazing, I don't want to screw up my first NYC. I want to go and personally kill it! I will taper, lose my shit and afterwards celebrate and cry (a lot). Then I will start the whole crazy process again for Paris! So posts after this may sound a little cranky or like a crack addict detoxing and I apologize! With only 3 weeks to go (26 days thanks to NYRR Facebook updates!) it's time to lose my shit and get excited!!