Smoking and winning

Smoking and winning

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Time for those 2016 resolutions... Boys


So I could go with the real obvious. Kill it in Paris, return to NYC or get into Chicago, personal best on a half, lose 10lbs, Boston blah blah blah... Truth is for 2016 I want to not make a bad guy mistake and screw with my training. The bad diet started with a bad guy moment then got worse from another.
I lost weight at first due to health reasons, then it all got out of hand due to a boy. I started the whole "let's eat 500 calories a day." because of a guy. My heart was broken and my mind was a mess. All the weight came off but, I was a mess and extremely breakable. That's when I met the next who took it to a whole new level of crazy.
Truth is I wasn't ready for a relationship but he was the first to make me feel pretty after the weight loss. He was off the charts nuts but great looking. I took the plunge because  for the first time I was wanted for my looks not my personality. That sounds awful just writing it! I had just started running but was not in training yet. My goal was to get smaller not become a better runner. I was still eating very little but running more and this is when I started to look really bad. Well let me tell you it got real crazy real quick but I still came back a few times in the hopes he could change. Yeah.. That never happens. 
What I've come to realize is you can't find happiness in what some guy thinks about you. Only you can make yourself feel good about yourself. So for 2016, feel good about myself first and boys come after that. Boys are lovely but I'm going to focus on liking myself again. Plus the obvious.. Paris!! Hopefully Chicago, maybe London?? NYC? Yeah long list:). I may not be pretty or fast but I will keep going and continue doing me, the healthy way. Paris... 122 days!!!

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