So today is world aids day and the theme is feel no shame. Everyone is supposed to share a fear they have or something they feel shameful of. Because of the stigma surrounding the disease many don't get tested or get treatment. Never be ashamed and get tested. These days it can be treated and it's no longer a death sentence. It's also nothing to be ashamed of. We all make mistakes, we are human and sometimes we don't even know we made a mistake. Also practicing safe sex is important and never feel like you can't. No glove, no love! Well now that we have gotten that out of the way, here is my shameful admission. I'm still scared to eat.
I've ran two world majors, another in the middle of the night with a bum knee and finished 77th. Plus two half marathons and a run streak since April. Yet at thanksgiving I had a full on panic attack over beer and pie! I can run with millions watching, put away the nerves but a pie placed in front of me sends me into fight or flight mode. Having a beer passed to me has me shaking like a leaf. The thought of wanting a piece sent me into a nightmare worse than being told Forever 21 was going out of business! I cried the whole way home in the car over food. My food issues are so embarrassing to me. I always wonder what's my problem? Yet there I was losing my shit over an innocent pie who did nothing wrong to me. I live in such a controlled bubble surrounding my food that it's sad. The thought of not knowing exactly what's in the food makes my face break out. I'm a marathon runner who is scared of food. That's my shame.
We all have skeletons in the closet. We are all human and we should embrace that and never let it get in the way of our health. Get tested if you haven't and never feel alone! For me, my shame is my stumbling block on the road to Paris. It's something that people have made fun of me for and made me ashamed. But today I'm putting it out there and hopefully I can succeed! I have 134 days until I say bonjour to my ultimate goal. Paris!!!
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